Cream of the Crop 26/Cream of the Crop 26.iso/bbs/msged_10.zip/TAGFILE

Text File | 1997-07-03 | 167KB | 3,548 lines

Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself. - Rita Mae Brown
A penny saved is a Governmental oversight
"Bother!" said Pooh as he admitted being a FBI informant.
May the galloping goose of complacemcy cower in your honor.
Proper application of a chainsaw can overcome any difficulty.
DANGER! DANGER! Computer Store Ahead, Hide Wallet.
New restaurant on the moon. Great food, no atmosphere.
Chef: n. Any cook that swears in French.
"Please tell me I'm adopted." - Calvin
BUFFERS=7 FILES=5, 2nd Down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
Coming soon: Netware for Nintendo
I'm also a Major in the Bajoran Tagline Service. - Long Live Bajor!
What do you mean my birth certificate has expired?
The four food groups: Caffiene, Chocolate, Sugar, and Sex.
Every Sage expouses some brand of nonsense
Redundant book title: Windows for Dummies
Old programmers never die.  They branch to a new address!
Go straight to the docs.  Do not pass GO.  Do not collect $200!
Press <Ctrl-Alt-Del> now to access the pirate software.
ebius tagline. This is a moebius tagline. This is a mo ...
The trouble with reality is, there's no background music.
Please don't spoil everything by telling me the truth.
Don't ask me... The cat is in charge around here!
Dawn: The time of day when people with computers go to bed.
When DOS grows up it wants to be OS/2!
Borrow a few lines = Plagiarism.  Steal *volumes* = Research.
Oxymoron: Windows Productivity.
Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to store all new data:
I drink Beer for a living and I'm late for work...
Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
Madness takes its toll.  Exact change please.
Sometimes I get this urge to conquer large parts of Europe.
"Did ya put the cat out?" "I didn't know it was burning"
I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!!
I came, I saw, I confused.
Fear: when you see B8 00 4C CD 21 and you know what it means.
War is God's way of teaching us geography.
This tagline is password protected. To view type Ctrl-Alt-Del.
"640Kb tienen que ser suficientes para todos".- Bill Gates, Microsoft.
Show me a sane man; I'll cure him for you.
incest... a game the whole family can play...
Going out of my mind...be back in 5 minutes.
Windoze95 multitasks! You can have both the monitor AND printer on!
Redundant book title: Windows For Dummies.
I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.
Cannot open CATFOOD.CAN-Eat Logitech mouse instead? (Y/n)
7 Days without pizza makes one week...
Breaking Windows isn't just for kids anymore...
REAL programmers code in Assembler.
!edis gnorw eht morf siht ta gnikool era uoY
Push any key. Then push the any other key.
A Smith and Wesson beats four aces any time!
Insert new disk for drive C: Press ENTER when ready.
DOS 6.0: A $49 confirmation that you need REAL utilities.
DCE seeks DTE for mutual exchange of data.
I have a really good memory, except it's short.
Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I...
Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers!
COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods.
Get OS/2 2.0 - The best Windows tip around!
This will make no sense whatsoever. Continue (Y/N)?.........
Do Less with More - install Win95!
If you call me insane again, I'll eat your other eye.
I know a good tagline when I steal one.
If you can be off by one, you will be.
One man's Windows are another man's walls.
Tasha Yar supports Data entry.
Cat game #6:  fit into the smallest place possible.
SLEEP?  I'm a programmer!
In theory RISC is faster than CISC.  In theory communism works.
Teenager: 50% stomach, 50% lip; the rest is common sense
Don't be held back by yesterday's DOS!  Try today's OS/2!
Ever meet a Sysop who would admit the problem was his?
I don't have a life, I have an offline mail reader.
!sdohtem noitpyrcne devorppa-tnemnrevog troppus I
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." (Bill Gates, 1981)
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." Bill Gates '81
"90% of all statistics are made up"
"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the
"A little work, a little sleep, a little love and it is all over." -
"A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience." -Doug
"A newspaper is a collection of half-injustices"
"All my hidden skills are undiscovered." - Clinton
"Apple" (c) 6024 b.c., Adam & Eve
"Apple" (c) Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton.
"Are your cookies made with real Girl Scouts?"
"Beam me aboard, Scotty." "Sure. Will a 2x10 do?"
"Beulah, peel me a grape."
"Bother," said Pooh as the brakes went out!
"Build a watch in 179 easy steps" by C. Forsberg.
"But I like pineapple" said Tom, dolefully
"But honey, we need a 2 gig drive for word processing!"
"C++" should have been called "D"
"COINCIDENCE" happens.
"Calvin, we will not have an anatomically correct snowman!"
"Can I have one of those chocolates?" said Tom, candidly.
"Careful. We don't want to learn from this." -- Calvin
"Charlie was a Chemist, but Charlie is no more. What Charlie thought
"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
"DOS=HIGH" Hmm, I knew it was on something...
"Darn...another zit!" reflected Tom.
"Don't ever rest on your laurels."  -Oliver Hardy
"Don't you hate it when your boogers freeze?" -- Calvin
"Eat more fruit" said Tom, with aplomb.
"Every time I've built character, I've regretted it."
"Feature:" a software bug with seniority
"Freedom defined is freedom denied." -The Illuminatus
"Good morning!" is an opinion, not a greeting.
"Graphic Artist seeks Boss with vision impairment."
"Ground Beef" -- A Cow With No Legs!
"Have you ever dated somebody because you were too lazy to commit
"Hello," the lawyer lied.
"Hex Dump" - Where Witches put used curses?
"Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's hand grenades I throw..."
"Hmm... How *did* they finally kill Frosty?" -- Hobbes
"Human equality is a contingent fact of history." -Steven Jay Gould
"Hungry"
"I MUST patch this coat," said Tom raggedly.
"I am not a crook," said Mr. Nixon with resignation.
"I am your mother, Luke!"
"I believe OS/2...to be the most important OS...of all time" Gates '87
"I dropped my toothpaste," said Tom, crestfallen.
"I find you guilty!" said the judge with conviction.
"I forgot what to buy," Tom said listlessly.
"I found it! I found it!" repeated Tom redundantly.
"I intend to live forever--or die trying!" (Blake's 7)
"I joined the Lion's Club," said Tom pridefully.
"I need a home run hitter," said Tom ruthlessly.
"I object to all this sex on television... I keep falling off!"
"I tried to think but nothing happened!" - Curly
"I want some Chinese food," said Tom wantonly.
"I won the daily double," said Tom hoarsely.
"I'd like a hot dog," said Tom frankly.
"I'd like all your $20 bills in this bag", "To go".
"I'll try and dig it up for you," said Tom gravely.
"I'm a lawyer."  "Honest?"  "No, the usual kind."
"I'm not an actor, but I play one on TV"
"I'm not smart enough to lie" - Ronald Reagan
"I'm taking the prisoner downstairs," said Tom condescendingly.
"I've flunked the test," said Tom degradingly.
"I've struck oil", Tom said, crudely.
"If I knew what I was doing...I'd be dangerous..."
"If the shoe fits, buy it." Imelda Marcos
"Instant gratification takes too long." - Carrie Fisher
"Is that seat saved?"  "No, but we're praying for it!"
"Is" is the verb for when you don't want a verb.
"It is not the fall that kills you. it's the sudden stop at the
"It's sad how whole families are torn apart by simple things, like
"Keyboard? How quaint!" - Scotty
"Leave my blouse alone! I said Spellcheck, not Spillcheck"
"Let's visit the burial chambers," said Tom cryptically.
"Luke... Luke... Use the MOUSE, Luke" - Obi Wan Gates
"MEOW"...SPLAT..."RUFF"...SPLAT...(Raining cats & dogs)
"More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"
"Mr. Worf, blow the Windows-powered Borg ship out of this Universe!"
"My stereo's half fixed," said Tom in a monotone.
"NO!!! ANYTHING but the briar patch!!" - Guinevere Garcia
"No, a BUD light!!" (Joan of Arc)
"Nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more, say no more!"
"Off the keyboard, thru the router, over the bridge, nothing but net!"
"Please return stewardess to original upright position"
"Quotations are for people who are not saying things worth quoting."
"Remember when we said there was no future? Well, this is it." --
"Shall the world, then, be overrun by oysters? No, no; horrible!"
"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar" - Freud
"Stupid" is a boundless concept.
"Suicide Hotline...please hold."
"That's not art," said Tom abstractly.
"The faster you go, the shorter you are" - Einstein
"The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." - Mark Twain
"The sun ain't yellow, its chicken." -Bob Dylan
"There are lies, damned lies, and statistics." -Mark Twain
"There's someone in my head, but its not me." -Pink Floyd
"These lemons are too expensive!" said Tom sourly.
"This chicken has no beak," said Tom impeccably.
"This is a job for.. AACK! WAAUGHHH!! ...someone else." -
"This sentence no verb." - Douglas R. Hofstader
"This trench is deep enough," said Tom indignantly.
"To cook well, learn all about spices," said Tom sagely.
"To err is human, to forgive....$5.00"
"Uh honey, a P5 with a 20" monitor is perfect for mail"
"Ummm, Trouble with grammar have I! Yes!" -Yoda-
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
"Viu meu filho, estude! Quem nao estuda vira SysOp"
"Vote for Perot" - Bumper sticker attached with Velcro
"WHO CARES where Carmen Sandiego is?"
"We are on an irreversable trend towards more feedom and democracy -
"Why Johnny Can't Read," now available on VHS!!
"Wrap this up," said Tom gladly.
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?" -Steven Wright
#1 OS/2 tip: Drag the Windows folder to the shreader!!!
#define QUESTION ((bb) || !(bb))- Shakespeare.
#include std/disclaimer.h
$$$ not found -- (A)bort (R)efinance (B)ankrupt
&   <:=======   -Snake stalking ampersand
(((((This tagline in Stereo where available)))))
(((YOU)))(((ARE)))(((FEELING)))(((SLEEPY)))
(A)bort (R)etry (P)ull leg (H)ot boot (S)wipe tagline!
(A)bort (R)etry (F)ail (U)nplug & (S)ell.
(A)bort (R)etry (C)ut Your Throat.....
(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)nfluence with large hammer
(A)bort, (R)etry, (F)ail, (G)rab_Hammer
(A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend this never happened...
(D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
(You can have your cake) XOR (You can eat your cake)
(c) Copywight 1995 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.
* OLX 3 * Windows is to OS/2 what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.
*Four hours* to bury a cat? Yes - it wouldn't keep still
*IT IS* documented, look under "For Internal Use Only."
- REDUZA A VELOCIDADE - Travessia de MODEMS de 2400 bps
.. Bugs come in through open Windows.
... "I'll be Bach." - Johann Sebastian Schwarzenegger
... All the world's a stage, and I missed rehearsal.
... Bill Clinton isn't slick. He's just a liar.
... Clinton sandwich: $5 of baloney and $20 in taxes
... Clinton excuse #15: Hey - I just do what the wife says
... Clinton excuse #18: You took that seriously? Har har
... Clinton Economics: If 1+2=3 then 4+5=6.
... Getting the truth from Clinton is like nailing Jello
... It's tourist season in Florida, bag limit two.
... KARAOKE is Japanese for "Tone Deaf"
... Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant
..."________________," said Tom blankly.
......64..65...66...67...68...69... "STOP RIGHT THERE!"
.....If it ain't broke, fix it anyway just to screw it up!
...90% of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
...A crucifix?  OY VEY, have you got the wrong vampire!
...About as sharp as the leading edge of a bowling ball.
...And on the 8th day God said, "Ok, Murphy, take it!"
...As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.
...Better late than sorry!
...Better safe than never!
...Bill Clinton - Psalm 109, verse 8
...Do witches use spell checkers?
...Don't play stupid with ME...I'm better at it!
...For a reply, send a self-abused stomped antelope to...
...I am Fudd of Borg.  Pwepare to be assimiwated!
...I am Pentium of Borg.  Prepare to be approximated!
...I am Popeye of Borg.  Prepare to be askimilgrated!
...I can't remember the last time I forgot something.
...I love children!  They taste just like chicken.
...I lurnd tu spel weth hukt on fonix!
...I multi-task, I read in the bathroom.
...I'm sorry, Reality is not in service at this time.
...No, but if you hum a few bars I'll fake it.
...On the other hand, you have different fingers.
...Photons have mass?  I didn't know they were Catholic!
...Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!
...So simple a child could do it?  Go find me a child!
...That was no piccolo, that was my FIFE!
...Things aren't as bad as they really are.
...We don't eat our enemies!  We have lawyers for that.
...about as smart as a lawyer is honest.
...after all, nobody's human!
...and I betcha she can say it in 10 different languages!
...and this is your brain with a side order of bacon.
...just a few corpsuckles short of a full ventricle!
..Windows NT Performance", on the next "In Search Of"
/=*=\ <--cuidado, se voce tivesse um TK85, isso seria uma nave inimiga.
/EARTH is 98% full. Please delete anybody you can
1 + 1 = ? Ask my calculator.
1 + 2 = 3; Therefore, 4 + 5 = 6.
1 + 2 = 3; Therefore, 4 + 5 = 6.
1 Minute Shut Mouth Worth 1 Hour Explanation
10 days and 18 messages later, "Oh I understand now"
10 out of 5 doctors feel it's OK to be schitzo!
1200 bps used to seem so fast
186,000 miles/sec: Not just a good idea, it's the LAW.
1991 - The Year of the Palindrome
1st rule of intelligent tinkering - save all the parts
2 + 2 = 4 (for the time being).
2 + 2 = 5 (for sufficiently large values of 2)
2 things can survive nuclear war: cockroaches & lawyers.
2 wrongs don't make a right - but 3 lefts do!
20 Dumb Blonds in freezer:  Frosted flakes.
3 Kinds of People: Those who can count & those who can't.
3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population.
3 stages of sex: Tri-weekly, try weekly, try weakly.
300 cattle in orbit:  First herd shot around the world.
43% of all statistics are worthless.
43rd Law of Computing: Anything that can go wr...
4Sale, braille dictionary like new, must see 2 appreciate
5 1/4 pra mim e suruba!
5 schizophrenics agree!
50 states, and I had to pick one of confusion...
50 states, and I had to pick this one...
640K ought to be enough for anybody. -Bill Gates, 1981.
668 - Neighbor of the Beast
69, 714, 2112 : Sex, drugs, and Rock and Roll!
74% of all statistics are made up on the spot
76.4 percent of all statistics are meaningless.
89.6% of all statistics are wrong.
9-1-1..If you're calling to report a fire, press 1 now...
90% of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
98% of all dead owls don't give a hoot!
:.::: ::..: ::.::.  :..:: (braille tagline)
<<< Tagline deleted by Natl Endowment for the Arts >>>
==/==/==/==Police tagline==/==/==Do not cross ==/==/==/==
A .45 beats a royal flush EVERY TIME
A BBSer's telephone bill knows no bounds...
A Bugless Program is an Abstract Theoretical Concept.
A Canadian is someone who can make love in a canoe.
A GOOD friend KEEPS the surplus zucchini!!
A Inteligencia Artificial nao funciona por causa da Burrice Natural
A Jury: 12 people who decide who has the best lawyer
A Metaphor is like a Simile.
A STOIC brings the baby; a CYNIC is where you wash it.
A Smith & Wesson beats four aces every time.
A Smith & Wesson *ALWAYS* beats 4 Aces.
A Vegetarian, huh?  Well, I'm a Capricorn myself...
A belly button is for salt when you eat celery in bed.
A big enough hammer fixes anything
A big enough hammer can usually fix anything.
A bird in the hand can be messy.
A bird in the hand is a big mistake.
A bird in the bush can't mess in your hand!
A bird in the hand is better than one overhead!
A black hole is God dividing by zero...
A camel is a horse planned by committee.
A career is a job that takes about 20 more hours a week.
A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
A closed mind gathers no intelligence
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
A committee has 6 or more legs and no brain.
A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying
A critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.
A cynic smells flowers and looks for the casket.
A cynic smells flowers and looks for the casket.
A day for firm decisions! Or is it?
A day not wasted is a day wasted!
A day without sunshine is like night.
A day without radiation is a day without sunshine.
A day without sunshine is like....night.
A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing.
A dirty book is rarely dusty.
A dry sense of humor is better than slobbering everywhere
A field upgrade,HAL. We're going to make you IBM compatible.
A fine watchdog! Today he watched someone break in.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
A fool and his money are soon SYSOP.
A fool must now and then be right by chance.
A fool with a tool is a well-equipped fool
A friend in need is a pest indeed...
A friend: someone who likes you even after they know you.
A girl a day keeps the wife away.
A good lawyer makes an evil neighbor.
A good marriage outlasts the first box of dental floss.
A good pun is its own reword.
A good way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
A half moon is better than no moon at all.
A harp is a nude piano.
A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.
A hundred years from now, none of us will give a damn.
A husband is a lover who pushed his luck too far.
A informatica chegou para resolver problemas, que antes nao existiam.
A jerk present in a group indicates a jerk in charge.
A lawyer stepped in manure and thought he was melting.
A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless paid for.
A library is an arsenal of liberty.
A life lived in fear is half a life lived.
A life without God is like a fish without a bicycle.
A little greed can get you lots of stuff
A little greed can get you lots of stuff.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.
A living example of Artificial Intelligence.
A low yield atomic bomb is like being a bit pregnant.
A man between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.
A man needs a good memory after he has lied.
A man's best friend is his dogma.
A man's incomplete until married; then he's finished!
A man, a plan, a canal. Suez!
A mind is a terrible thing to ugg.. I forgot..
A mind is a terrible thing to taste.
A miser is hard to live with, but makes a good ancestor.
A naked man fears no pickpocket
A narrow mind is usually accompanied by a wide mouth.
A neat desk is a sign of a sick mind.
A nervous titter ran through the crowd...
A nuclear war can ruin your whole day...
A nudist has no reason to fear a pickpocket.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
A penny saved is a Congressional oversight.
A penny saved is a Governmental oversight.
A perfect woman is one that is inflated to 40psi.
A perversion of nature....how exciting!
A pessimist is never disappointed.
A phaser on stun is like a day without orange juice.
A poor excuse is better than no excuse! <grin>
A procrastinator's work is never done.
A rolling stone gathers momentum.
A rooster clucks defiance -- but a lawyer...
A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
A short cut is the longest distance between two points.
A single fact can spoil a good argument.
A society that needs disclaimers has too many lawyers.
A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
A too-short mini skirt leaves a definitive end in view.
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a moose.
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
A vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry.
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's printed on!
A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
A wife lasts as long as a marriage, an ex-wife for ever.
A woman cries before the wedding, a man after.
A yer ago I kudnt spel progremr now I are won.
ACLU: Association of Corrupt Lawyers and Utopians
ACME Space and Explosives - We can put anything in orbit!!!
ACME: For fifty years the leader in creative mayhem.
AGGHHhhh, 4 AM Already!
ALL bikini clad women, proceed to move to California.
AMAR E: apagar o Windows do winchester dela.
ARCHDUKE FERDINAND FOUND ALIVE -- WORLD WAR I A MISTAKE!
ASCII and ye shall receive.
ASCII silly questions and you'll get some silly ANSI
ASCII stupid question... get a stupid ANSI!
Abandon all hope ye who have entered cyberspace.
Actions are usually right, but the reasons seldom are.
Adam ate the apple, and our teeth still ache.
Afraid of heights? Not me, I'm afraid of widths!
After the lawyers are all dead, kill the beancounters.
After we pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is NOT our friend!
Age and treachery can always overcome youth and skill.
Age is a hell of a price to pay for maturity.
Agnodyslexic plea: "why ME, dog?"
Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.
Alex, I'll take "Things Only I Know" for $1000.
All E-mail gladly received. Offensive reply ASAP.
All I ask for is the opportunity to prove that money can't make me
All I need to know I learned from my cat.
All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power
All general statements are false.
All generalizations are bad.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
All hope abandon, ye who enter messages here.
All in a day's work for..."Confuse-a-Cat"!
All in all it's just a... 'nother brick in the wall!
All life's answers are on TV. - Bart Simpson
All power corrupts, but we need the electricity!
All programers are optimists.
All taglines are busy... One will be with you shortly.
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
All the easy problems have been solved.
All things are green unless they are not.
All those who believe in Telekinesis raise my hands.
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
All women are automatically born with a shopping disorder
All words are pegs on which to hang ideas.
All you need to be a fisherman is patience and bait.
Almost went crazy. Would have been a real short trip.
Alone: In bad company.
Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it.
Always consider the alternative before making a choice.
Always draw your curves, then plot the data.
Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much.
Always glad to share my ignorance - I've got plenty.
Always proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Always remember, Shinola is the one that smells better.
Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Always remember no matter where you go, there you are.
Always smile.  It makes people wonder what you're up to.
Always use tasteful words.  You may have to eat them!
Alzheimers advantage: New friends every day.
Am I ignorant or apathetic?  I don't know and don't care!
Ambition is the last refuge of the failure.
America Good Place to Put Chinese Restaurant.
Amish bumper sticker: CAUTION -- Do not step in exhaust.
Amusement is the happiness of those who cannot think.
An Elephant; A Mouse built to government specifications.
An egotist thinks he's in the groove when he's really in a rut.
An electrician studies current events.
An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.
An idea is not responsible for fools who believe in it.
An idle mind is worth two in the bush.
An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.
An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts.
An oyster is a fish built like a nut.
An ulcer is what you get mountain climbing over molehills.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
An unbreakable toy is great for breaking other toys!
An unemployed court jester is no one's fool.
And God said: E = (1/2)mv^2 - (Ze^2)/r, and there was light!
And God said, "Let there be drooling nincompoops..."
And Satan said to God, "But where will YOU find a lawyer?
And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
And he disappeared in a puff of logic.
And if one bad cluster should accidentally fail...
And it's only ones and zeros.
And now for something completely the same...
And now for something completely different...
And on the seventh day, He took an aspirin.
And then God said, No, a BUD light!
And tomorrow will be like today, only more so.
And, the driver compresses EVERYTHING, not just EXE & COM
Angels can fly because they take themselves so lightly.
Anger blows out the lamp of the mind.
Another botched job by the Good Intentions Paving Company
Another case of Cherry Coke down the programming hatch!
Answers: $1 * Correct answers: $5 * Dumb looks: Free! *
Antidisestablishmentarianism!
Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, & complain. And most do.
Any given program, once running, is obsolete.
Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs there
Any sufficiently advanced bug will become a feature.
Any sufficiently advanced technology looks like magic.
Any wire cut to length will be too short.
Anybody who thinks I'm strange ought to meet you!
Anyone who remembers the 60's...wasn't there.
Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.
Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
Anything worth doing, is worth doing for a profit.
Apes evolved from Creationists!
Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?
Are we having Fahrvergn ugen yet??
Are ya feelin' lucky, punk?!! - Harry Callahan
Are you a Klingon, or is that a turtle on your head?
Are you diagonally parked in a parallel universe?
Are you on an ego trip?   You forgot your luggage.
Are you really American if your ethnicity has to be hyphenated?
Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?
Armageddon means never having to say you're sorry.
Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
As I said before, I NEVER repeat myself!
As a matter of fact, no, I don't have a life.
As confused as a termite in a yo-yo
As easy as 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716
As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.
As your Doctor I advise you to drink heavily.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls; let the machine get it.
Assumption is the mother of all screwups...
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Atheism: A non-prophet organization.
Atheist = Deity Disadvantaged.
Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. -Dorothy
Aural sex produces eargasms.
Aussie gets new boomerang, tries to throw old one away...
Author of "Lead, follow, or get outta the way."
Avoid the 5 o'clock rush - always leave work at noon.
BASIC is a high level languish.
BBS - programa para duplicar conta telefonica.
BBS Tip #45: ALT-H gives you sysop access!
BREAKFAST.COM Halted... Cereal Port Not Responding.
Bachelor: a man who hasn't made the same mistake once
Bachelor: footloose and fiancee free
Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can't Find The Reverse Switch!
Back when I was a boy, we carved our own ICs out of wood!
Backup not found: A)bort, R)etry, M)assive heart failure?
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
Backup not found!A)bort, R)etry or P)anic?
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
Bad Command:(A)bort (R)etry (T)ake RAM hostage
Bad Credit? No Credit? No Problem.  No Money? Problem!
Bad boy! Go to my room immediately!!
Bad breath is better than no breath.
Bad is never good until worse happens
Bad random number generator:  1,1,1,1,1,4.33e+67,1,1,1
Bad:  Your wife wants a divorce.  Worse:  She's a lawyer.
Bald: follicularly challenged.
Bank Rule: To get a loan, first prove you don't need it.
Barium: what you do with dead chemists.
Bartender: a pharmacist with limited inventory
Bathroom scale: Something you stand on and swear at.
Be careful when playing under the bowling-ball tree!
Be careful, the toes you step on today may be connected to the ass you
Be kind to animals.....Take your Boss to lunch......
Be smart as a cat. Make a friend of your enemy's enemy.
Beautify Texas. Put a Yankee on a bus.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Beauty is only skin deep... Ugly cuts clear to the bone!
Been meaning to join the Procrastinators Club...
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
Beer:  Vitamin P in a can...
Behind every man, there's a woman with nothing to wear.
Ben Dover & C. Howlett Fields -- Attorneys at Law
Beneath the spreading anvil tree, the village idiot sat..
Best file compressor around: DEL *.* (100% compression!)
Best way to grease a BMW - Run over a lawyer!
Best way to dispose of the Borg: Give them Windows 3.1.
Better ... stronger ... faster!
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Beware of Geeks bearing gifs.
Beware of anything that bleeds for 5 days and lives!!!
Beware of barking dogs that bite.
Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers
Beware of quantum ducks--Quark, quark!
Beware of quantum ducks.  Quark, Quark.
Bigamist = Italian fog
Bigamy : one wife too many. Monogamy : same thing
Bill Clinton thinks that Cheerios are donut seeds.
Bill Clinton: the EDLIN of presidents!
Bill Clintoon: The prince of Dorkness, a caricature of a president
Bill Clinton kept all the promises he intended to keep.
Bill Clinton is the Lyin' King. ( Now playing nation wide )
Bit - The increment by which programmers slowly go mad.
Black Holes are Out of Sight
Black Holes were created when God divided by zero!
Black holes really suck...
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Blank Regk
Blessed are the pessimists, for they make backups!
Blessed are the meek, for they make great scapegoats.
Blessed is the end-user who expects nothing, for ye shall not be
Bliss *IS* ignorance
Bo Knows Taglines!
Bo Peep did it for the insurance.
Bombs don't kill people, explosions kill people.
Borderline psychotic with hermit-like tendencies.
Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Bored? Drive the speed limit... in your garage.
Borg spreadsheet: Locutus 1-2-3
Borg? Where? I don't se*(#$#..NO CARRIER
Both of his feet are firmly planted in the air.
Both of his feet are firmly planted in the air.
Bother! said Pooh, as he pulled the cat off his face
Boy: A noise with dirt on it.
Brain dysfunction detected....
Brain over - Insert coin
Brain: The apparatus with which we think that we think.
Break up a relationship - buy a computer!!
Breathing may be hazardous to your health.
Britannia waives the rules.
Buffoon: Reed instrument like a hobo, but lower in pitch.
Bug off, Banana Nose; Relieve mine eyes
Bugs are Sons of Glitches!
Bugs, like coathangers, breed if unobserved.
Building Contractors, not to be confused with homemakers
Bullets speak louder than reason.
Bumper sticker on a hearse: I'd rather be breathing
Bungee Jumper? Catch you on the rebound.
Bureaucracy: That place always in need of a laxative.
Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise
Bus error (Passengers dumped)
Bush says "No new taxes!", Clinton says, "No, NEW taxes!"
Busier than a one-eyed cat watching two mouse holes.
Busier than a 1 legged man in an butt-kicking contest.
Busier than a 1 armed paper hanger.
But honey, we can afford it, I sold your car!
But honey, I wouldn't be up so late on a faster machine!
But my little voice TOLD me to do it!
But once you are real, you can't become unreal again.
But soft, what light through yonder tagline breaks?
But then again, I like cold toilet seats.
But what if I'm a figment of my OWN imagination?
But what's the speed of DARK?
But, officer, I was only GOING one way!
Buy American!
Buy Land Now. It's Not Being Made Any More.
Buy a supscription to Playboy and send it to your boss' wife
By all means, let's not confuse ourselves with the facts!
C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
C programmer run C programmer crash C programmer quit
C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN DOS RUN
C:\GRAPHICS\GIF\NAUGHTY\FILTHY\DISGUSTING\WOW!
CAT (n.): 1. Furry keyboard cover. 2. Fur ball puker
CAUTION: Do not look into laser with remaining eye!
CAUTION: RIDER MAY BAIL AT ANY TIME
CCITT: Can't Conceive Intelligent Thoughts Today
CCITT: Can't Certify I Trust Telecom.
CChheecckk yyoouurr dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh..
CD-WOM, Wead Onwy Memowy.
CEO of Dementia and Other Meaningless Entities.
CHIP: One California hi-way patrolman.
CODING: AN addictive Drug.
COMMAND: A suggestion made to a computer.
CONgress (n) - Opposite of PROgress
CRASH: Normal termination.
CRIME CONTROL: Fire a warning shot into his HEART!
CURIOSITY? Nah. I got THAT cat with a lawnmower.
CYCLIC REDUNDANCY CHECK: Stocktaking at a Bike shop
California Raisins murdered by Cereal Killer! Film at 11!
California has its faults.
California raisins murdered: Cereal Killer suspected
Call me if you need my phone number!
Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?
Can you find the mispelled word in hear?
Can you repeat the part after "Listen very carefully"?
Can you see the REAL ME, can ya?!?! CAN YA??!?!!?!?!?!?!
Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?
Can't learn to do it well? Learn to enjoy doing it badly!
Canadian DOS prompt: EH?\>
Cannibals don't eat comedians because they taste funny.
Cannibals don't eat lawyers.
Capital Punishment: the income tax.
Captain we're at 1700 CPS. The UARTs canna take much more
Card-carrying member of the cultural elite.
Careful.  I know Karate and a few other foreign words.
Carlsbad Caverns: 22% more cavities.
Carpe DM: Seize the Dungeon Master!!!
Carpenters are just plane folks
Cat (kat') n. Dog with an attitude problem.
Cat's aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit!
Cats are smarter than dogs. Eight cats won't pull a sled.
Cause of crash: Inadvertent contact with the ground.
Caution: Breathing may be hazardous to your health.
Caution: Contents under pressure
Caution: Hungry Dieter May bite if provoked
Caveat emptor, no deposit no return, do not remove.
Celibacy is NOT hereditary.
Celibacy is not hereditary.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine.
Change your mind?  Something wrong with your old one?
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
Chemists don't die, they just stop reacting!
Chernobyl used Windows
Chess players mate better.
Chicago only promises what OS/2 DELIVERS!
Chicago runs best on a VCR.
Chicago, an operating system Pair-of-Dimes shift!
Chicago... The biggest thing since New Coke!
Chicago: NT deja vu!
Chicago? Been There,... Done That 2 Years Ago! I run OS/2!
Chicago? Been there. I'm ready to travel at WARP speed!
Chicken heads are the chief food of captive alligators.
Chipmunks roasting on an open fire.
Choose heaven for climate, hell for society.
Christmas comes, but once a year is enough.
Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
Civilization - biggest syntax error in history!
Clap on! (clap, clap) Clap off! (clap@#&$NO CARRIER
Clark Kent is a transvestite.
Clarvoiants meeting canceled due to unforseen events.
Clean mind, clean body: take your pick.
Cleanliness is next to impossible.
Climate is what you expect. Weather is what you get.
Clinton is one Bill, George Bush can't veto...
Clinton/Algore  ERROR: Division by zero.
Clinton/Gore is to the presidency as Beavis & Butthead are to
Clones are people two!
Clones are people two.
Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades!
Close only counts in thermonuclear warfare!
Close your eyes and press escape three times.
Close your eyes and press escape three times.
Closed Hearing for the Caption Impaired...
Clothes don't make a man, but a good suit makes a lawyer.
Co-processador com fome. Insira um Cream-Craker no drive A.
Cogito ergo spud: I think therefore I yam. - Popeye
Cogito ergo spud I think therefore I yam.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
Come in here, dear boy, have a cigar, you're gonna go far!
Coming Soon!! Mouse Support for Edlin!
Coming soon: Netware for the Nintendo!
Commence strategic maneuvers at audible command signal. 5, 4, 3...
Committee: 12 people doing the work of one.
Committee: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
Committees keep minutes and lose hours.
Common sense isn't...
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Communism is like a mouth on a lollipop
Compatible: Blows up a little later than Incompatible
Competence always contains the seeds of incompetence.
Compulsive lying aside, I don't have a single fault.
Computations which yield 0 are probably all for naught.
Computational Physicist and all around nice guy.
Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.
Computer programmers wanted - Some assembly required.
Computer: a million morons working at the speed of light.
Computers All Wait at the Same Speed!
Computers Rule 01001111 01001011
Computers are never worng.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
Computers are useless; they can only give answers.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
Computers run on faith, not electrons.
Condense soup, not books!
Conformity obstructs progress.
Confucius say: He who stand on toilet, high on pot.
Confucius say: Man with no legs bums around.
Confucius say: I didn't say that!
Confucius say:  Fly airplane upside-down, have crack up!
Confucius say too much.
Confucius say: Those who quote me are fools.
Confuse People: Quote from the wrong message!
Confused? Call Counselor Troi 1-900-NCC-1701: $1.95/minute
Confusion not only reigns, it pours.
Conscience: Inner voice warning you someone is looking.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Conservative: A liberal who's been mugged.
Conserve water--shower with a friend.
Consider it considered!
Consolations, Consultations, Conflagrations.
Constant change is here to stay.
Contentsoftaglinemaysettleduringshipping.
Continued, next message...disregard previous message.
Continued, previous message...disregard next message.
Contraceptives: to be used on all conceivable occasions.
Converse with any plankton lately?
Copper wire was invented by lawyers arguing over a penny.
Copyright the Intergalactic Thought Association
Copywight 1995, E. Fudd -- All wights wesewved.
Corrupt REALITY.SYS: Reboot Universe (Y/n)?
Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?
Couldn't myself have better it said.
Coup de grace -- French for lawnmower?
Courage atrophies from lack of use.
Creative people innovate; others LITIGATE!
Credit card owner -- Member of the debt set
Crime does not pay...as well as politics.
Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?
Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.
Criminal lawyer.  Isn't that redundant?
Criminal lawyer.  Isn't that redundant?
Cross river *THEN* insult alligator.
Curiosity didn't kill the cat. I got 'im with the mower!
Curved Universe Theory:  What goes around comes around.
Cyberspace is where the bank keeps your money.
Cyberspace takes its toll...exact change only, please!
Cynic: Smells the flowers and looks for the casket.
Cynicism is intellectual dandyism.
Cynics are people who know the price of everything and the value of
D.A.D.D. - Daddies Against Dirty Diapers
D.A.M. - Mothers Against Dyslexia
D.A.M.M - Drunks Against Mad Mothers
DAM: Mothers Against Dyslexia.
DANGER! Computer store ahead, hide wallet!
DCE seeks DTE for mutual exchange of data.
DEFINE: De ting you get for breaking de law.
DEFINE: De ting you get for breaking de law.
DEL C:\WINDOWS\*.* ---> The REAL DoubleSpace
DEVICE=EXXON.SYS may mess up your environment
DILATE: To live longer.
DIODE: What happens to people who don't die young.
DIVORCE =system("echo y| erase \wife\*.*" );
DO NOT ADJUST YOUR MIND - the fault is with reality
DO NOT REMOVE THIS TAGLINE (UNDER PENALTY OF LAW)!
DO {nothing} WHILE (HearFromMe==0)
DOC files? We don't need NO STINKIN' DOC FILES!
DOS 5.0 Yesterday's operating system, today!
DOS means never having to live hand-to-mouse.
DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename, Dude!"
DOS-O-MANIA : Root is not the book Alex Haley wrote.
DOS-O-MANIA : Reboot is not kicking your computer again
DOWN WITH EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!
Daddy, what does "Formatting Drive C:" mean?
Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
Dain Bramaged.
Dang this hobby is expensive!
Dangerous exercise: Jumping to conclusions.
Darth Vader sleeps with a Teddywookie.
Dawn: The time when men of reason go to bed.
Dawson's First Law: You don't have enough outlets.
Death benefits = oxymoron.
Death is 99 per cent fatal to laboratory rats.
Death is God's way of dropping carrier.
Death is life's answer to the question 'Why?'
Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
Death is not the end; there remains the litigation!
Death sneaks up on you as a windshield sneaks up on a bug.
Death: to stop sinning suddenly.
Debrief:  Wife listening while you talk in your sleep.
Deep down, lawyers are really nice!  Six feet or more.
Deflector shields just came on, Captain.
Deja Screw: The feeling that you've hired an attorney.
Delivered by Electronic Sled-Dogs.....Woof!
Democrats Call for Amnesty, Reduced Sentences Likely.
Denial: a river in Egypt
Dentist's famous last words: "You won't feel a thing..."
Depart in pieces.... i.e., Split.
Department of Redundancy Department...may I help you?
Despite the cost of living, it still remains popular.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Detour: The roughest distance between two points.
Dew knot put yore trussed in spel chequers!
Dewey, Cheatham & Howe -- Attorneys at Law
Diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Did I just step on someone's toes again?
Did anyone see my lost carrier?
Did somebody piss in your gene pool?
Did ya hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!
Did you expect mere proof to sway my opinion?
Did you expect mere proof to sway my opinion?
Did you know 'gullible' isn't even in the dictionary?
Die Yuppie Scum.
Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it.
Difference between Jane Fonda & Bill Clinton? Jane went to Vietnam
Digite WIN e volte amanha...
Digression is education.
Dime: a dollar with all the taxes taken out.
Dinner Not Ready...(A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock.
Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
Diplomacy: Saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock
Dirty deeds - DONE DIRT CHEAP!
Disclaimer: Written by a highly caffeinated mammal.
Disclaimer: All opinions are not really opinions.
Discoveries are made by not following instructions.
Disks travel in packs.
DisneyLand: A people trap operated by a mouse.
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
Do I mind if you smoke? No. Do you mind if I FART?
Do NOT look into laser with remaining eye..
Do Zen Druids practice transcendental vegetation?
Do fish get thirsty?
Do molecular biologists wear designer genes?
Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.
Do not disturb. Already disturbed!
Do not merely believe in miracles, rely on them.
Do not put statements in the negative form.
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
Do radioactive cats have eighteen half-lives?
Do steam rollers really roll steam?
Do the joke. Get the laugh. Move on.
Do unto others BEFORE they do unto you!
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Do witches use Spell-checkers?
Do ya really believe her when she says size don't matter?
Do you always hit the nail right on the thumb?
Do you know the way to San Jose?
Doctor Who for president
Doctor, my brain hurts!
Documentation is the castor oil of programming.
Does "PIRATE" software come with a treasure map?
Does Bill Clinton think Elvis is alive?
Does a radioactive cat have 18 half-lives?
Does killing time damage eternity?
Does the Enterprise use DOS v2356.0?
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the
Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children
Dogs come when you call. Cats have answering machines.
Dogs crawl under Gates, software under Windows.
Dogs crawl under gates, software under Windows.
Don't Take Life Seriously, It Is Not Permanent.
Don't ask me, I have intermittent memory loss
Don't ask me, I only work here.
Don't ask me, I'm making this up as I go!
Don't be a name dropper.  (Bill Gates told me that.)
Don't be a sexist, broads hate that.
Don't be afraid to drive a nail in the wood!
Don't be sexist.  Broads hate that.
Don't be so open-minded that your brains fall out!
Don't be superstitious...it's bad luck!
Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.
Don't blame me. I voted for Bill and Opus!
Don't blame me, I voted for Mickey Mouse.
Don't blame ME for gravity...I voted for Velcro!
Don't burn your bridges until you come to them.
Don't buy furs, it takes trees to make protest signs.
Don't byte off more than you can multiplex.
Don't chew with your mouth full!
Don't confuse me with facts, my mind is made up!
Don't confuse me with facts, my mind's already made up!
Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers.
Don't diet, download a virus to remove the FAT.
Don't do what I SAY, do what I mean!
Don't even TRY to THINK without proper tools.
Don't get stuck in a closet -- wear yourself out.
Don't hide your contempt of the contemptible!
Don't just do something !!! Stand there !!!
Don't just DO something, STAND THERE!
Don't lend people money.  It causes amnesia.
Don't let school interfere with your education.
Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice...
Don't look now, but your file is unzipped.
Don't look back...the lemmings are gaining on you!
Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
Don't make your snap decisions in too big a hurry.
Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
Don't mess with Murphy.
Don't open the darkroom door; it lets all the dark out.
Don't open the darkroom door; it lets all the dark out.
Don't overtax yourself; that's the Government's job.
Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic. ... ALL RIGHT, NOW PANIC
Don't play stupid with me! I'm better at it.
Don't play "stupid" with me...I'm better at it!
Don't press the keys so hard!
Don't read everything you believe.
Don't speak now, and forever hold your peace.
Don't start with me. You know how I get.
Don't steal. The government hates competition.
Don't stop posting, a good laugh breaks up my day nicely
Don't sweat it -- it's only ones and zeros.
Don't take life seriously...it isn't permanent.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
Don't talk with your mouth open!
Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.
Don't thank me for insulting you. It was my pleasure...
Don't thumb your nose... Picket!
Don't try to saw sawdust.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Don't use big words where diminutive ones will suffice.
Don't use commas, which, aren't necessary.
Don't use no double negatives.
Don't use no double negatives.
Don't worry the next message will be better!
Don't worry, I'm fluent in weirdo.
Don't worship manhole covers during rush hour!
Dorme filhinho, senao vem um virus e te apaga da memoria!
Double your drive space - delete Windows!
Down with categorical imperative!
Down with ignurance!
Downgrade your system for only 89 dollars! Install Windows!
Dragons love you. You're crunchy and good with ketchup.
Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing
Dreamed I was a muffler...woke up exhausted!
Drilling for oil is boring.
Drink wet cement, and get completely stoned.
Drinkers of non-alcoholic beer sober up with Decaf!
Drive A: format failure, formatting C: instead...
Drive C: Error, (A)bort (R)etry (I)gnore (K)ick (S)cream
Drive nail here [+] to get a new monitor.
Drive slower than your guardian angel can fly.
Dropped from my peeling lips like lousy fruit.
Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric
Duct tape is all that holds the universe together.
Dumb Questions are better than smart mistakes!
Dumb luck beats sound planning every time. Trust me.
Dwarf Seer Escapes From Jail -- Small Medium At Large
Dying is no excuse. Nixon in 96.
Dyslexic atheists believe there is no Dog
Dyslexics are persona au gratin.
Dyslexics have more fnu.
Dyslexics of the world, untie!
Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!
Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!
EMS: Enhanced Money Scam
ERROR 103: Dead mouse in hard drive.
ERROR: ERROR: ERROR: ERROR: ERROR: {SMACK} C:\>
EXPANSION SLOTS: The extra holes in your belt buckle.
Eagles fly, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
Eagles may soar but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines!
Earth is 98% full...please delete anyone you can.
Earth is 98% full...please delete anyone you can.
Easter is canceled this year. They've found the body.
Easy for YOU to say, Earthling!
Eat Healthy, Exercise, and Die Anyway ...
Eat Healthy.  If it tastes good, spit it out.
Eat the rich, the poor are tough and stringy
Eat yogurt and get cultured
Efficiency takes time! Frugality: who can afford it?
Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks.
Ego Gratification through Violence
Einstein was relatively smart.
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
Ela disse: Ou eu ou o computador! Tenho saudades dela...
Elvis Stamps:  Where will your mail be spotted next?
Email me the rules, please!
Energizer Bunny Arrested; Charged with Battery.
Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery.
Enjoy me, I may never pass this way again.
Enough research will tend to support your theory.
Ensign Pillsbury: He's bread Jim!
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue->
Enter that again, just a little slower.
Epitaph on a gravestone: Cheerio, see you soon.
Erro #76: Mal contato. Bata no computador e aguarde...
Erro no sistema. Pressione F13 para continuar.
Error 15 - Unable to exit Windows. Try the door.
Error 3032 - Recursion error. See error 3032.
Error-Disk Full Error,Formatting Drive C: to make space
Error: Computer Possesed.  Load EXOR.SYS? [Y/N]
Esc key to reboot Universe, or any other key to continue...
Eschew obfuscation!
Eschew terminological obfuscation!
Eu acreditava no sistema operacional, ate que formataram minha familia.
Eu cnsigo diigtar 400 caractreres pro minuo1!!
Eu tive um pesadelo...DIR C:...00000000000000000015786 bytes free
Evangelists do more than lay people
Even in this corner of the galaxy, Captain, 2+2=4 ... Spock
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
Even the greatest of whales is helpless in the middle of the desert
Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I...
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Every exit is an entrance into something else.
Every family tree has some sap.
Every man's work is a portrait of himself.
Every purchase has its price.
Every silver lining has a cloud around it.
Every step you take becomes a twist of fate.
Every valuable idea offends someone.
Every why hath a wherefore.
Everybody is somebody else's lunatic.
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
Everyone has photographic memory...some don't have film!
Everyone has photographic memory, but some have no film!
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
Everyone is gifted.  Some never open the package.
Everyone is gifted; some never open the package.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year.
Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.
Everyone is gifted. Some just open their packages sooner.
Everyone makes mistakes, if not we'd all be single!
Everyone's expendable...and no one has a real friend
Everything that is not mandatory is forbidden.
Everything bows to success, even grammar.
Everything in our favor was against us.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Everywhere is on the way to someplace...
Evil always triumphs over good, because good is STUPID!
Evolution is God's way of issuing updates.
Exceeding the legal fun limit on a regular basis
Excellent time to become a missing person.
Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt driven.
Excuse me if I sound bitter....I taste that way too
Excuse me while I dance a little jig of despair
Excuse me while I sharpen my tongue.
Excuse me, while I change into something more formidable.
Exercise daily.  Eat wisely.  Die anyway.
Experience is a good teacher but her fees are high...
Experience: What you get when you don't get what you want
Experience: a name everyone gives to his mistakes.
Expert: "ex"=a has-been. "spert"=a drip under pressure.
Exploding piglets!!! My gosh, it's raining bacon!
Exploding taglines for sale - Call Acme Tagline Company
Explosion at sperm bank.  Nurses overcome.
Exxon Suxx.
F u cn rd ths u cnt spl wrth a dm!
F.A.R.T....Fathers Against Radical Teenagers
FATAL SYSTEM ERROR: Press F13 to continue...
FIGHT BACK! Fill out your tax forms with Roman numerals.
FILE COPIED. I THINK?
FLOPPY DISK: Serious curvature of the spine.
FOR SALE: 1 set of morals, never used, will sell cheap.
FORD: The Heartbreak of today's Chevrolet!
FORMAT C: ...Sim ...Sim ...Naaaaaaoooo!!! ^C ^C ^C ^C ^C
Fact is solidified opinion
Facts Just Get In The Way And Impede Progress.
Facts are stubborn things.
Fad: In one era and out the other
Faint hearts neither win in love nor sell life insurance.
Familiarity breeds children.
Familiarity breeds attempt
Famous last words - You and what army?
Famous last words - Icarus: Aaaahhhhhhhhh.
Famous last words - Don't worry, I can handle it.
Faster than a speeding ticket!
Fat Wars: May the Sauce Be With You.
Fat person: Nutritional Overachiever
Fatal Error Using Mouse. Replace and Bury Operator.
Fear is the tax that conscience pays to guilt.
Fear is the darkroom where negatives develop.
Features should be discovered, not documented.
Features should be discovered, not documented!
Feel lucky???? Update your software!
Felines... nothing more than felines...
Fer sell cheep: IBM spel chekker. Wurks grate.
Fer sell cheep: IBM spel chekker. Wurks grate.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Fife. n. Small shrill instrument that rhymes with wife.
Figures won't lie, but liars will figure.
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
Find your aim in life, before you run out of ammunition
Fine: a tax for doing wrong.  Tax: a fine for doing fine.
First thing you do is shoot all the lawyers
First, they tax incomes; now they're taxing my patience.
Fish and visitors stink in three days.
Flames to /dev/null/here/is/a/quarter/now/go/buy/a/clue.
Flirt: A woman who thinks it's every man for herself.
Floggings will continue until morale improves!
Floggings will continue until morale improves.
Floppy Disk = Lower back trouble.
Fluxograma: Direcao em que cresce o capim
Flying saucers are real, the Air Force doesn't exist.
Folks who think they know it all bug those of us who do
Follow-ups to alt.nobody.really.cares
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
Fools and their money become popular quickly.
Fools rush in wherever lottery tickets are sold
Fools rush in where Fools have been before!
Foot: Device for finding furniture in the dark.
For Sale: Slightly used message. Enquire within.
For at the end of history lies the undiscovered country.
For discussion only. Not to be relied upon.
For every vision there is an equal and opposite revision.
For new monitor, cut along dotted line ->................
For people who like peace and quiet: A phoneless cord!
For sale, Toilet-seat cover. Barely used.
For the finest in brain candy.
Forget the Joneses...I can't keep up with the SIMPSONS!
Forget the Joneses...I can't keep up with The Simpsons!
Forget the diet center; send yourself a candygram.
Forget the computer! Where's my abacus??
Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!
Four minus two is one and the same.
Fraud(n): A telephone number starting with "1-900"
Free Nelson Mandela, while stocks last!
Free advice is worth what you pay for it
Free your mind ... the rest will follow!
Freedom is just chaos with better lighting.
Friction can be a drag sometimes.
Friction is a drag.
Friendly fire - ISN'T !
Friends are Friends, regardless of their baud rate!
Friends come and go, enemies accumulate.
Friends don't let friends drive naked.
Friends encourage friends to use Windows - under OS/2!
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Friends help you move. REAL friends help you move bodies.
Friends:  The rubber duckies in the bathtub of life!
Friendship is one soul in two bodies.
Frog parking only...all others will be toad!
Frog philosophy: "Time's fun when you're having flies"
From a phone booth at the corner of Walk & Don't Walk.
From my brain, an organ with a mind of it's own.
From the Department of Redundancy Dept.
Frost
Funny, only sensible people agree with me.
GOD is Real... unless declared as an Integer.
GURU: One who knows more jargon than you.
G_ f_ck y__rs_lf.
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
Gargle twice daily - see if your neck leaks.
Geez if you belive in honkus.
Gene Police! ...YOU!! Out of the pool NOW!!
Genealogy = A DNA square-dance in the Thighlight Zone
General Failure reading drive A:  Please remove your fist
General Failure reading John Dvorak
General stupidity error reading drive C:
Genius has its limits, but not stupidity
Genius: One who can do anything except earn a living.
Geoff, Brett and Todd...the BO-DYNASTY!!!
George Orwell was an optimist.
Get OS/2 2.0 - The best Windows tip around!
Get behind early so you have plenty of time to catch up.
Get gun.  Shoot computer.  Turn off lights...
Get the facts first - you can distort them later!
Get your filthy hands off my dessert!
Gimme back my face! You're getting it ugly.
Give a man an inch, and he thinks he's a ruler.
Give a woman an inch and she thinks she's a ruler.
Give a woman an inch and she'll park a car in it.
Give and you might receive. Take and be sure of it.
Give blood...play hockey!
Give me ambiguity, or give me something else!
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Give tailgaters a brake!
Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.
Go Lemmings, Go!!!
Go ahead, correct my typos.  I'll make more.
God bless Madelyn Murray O'Hare!
God created cats so that men could learn to understand women
God does not play dice.
God heals and the doctor takes the fee.
God made machine language; all the rest is the work of man.
Going out of my mind, back in 5 minutes.
Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
Good Humor Ice Cream in trouble; assets frozen
Good day to let down old friends who need help.
Good girls go to heaven...but bad girls go EVERYWHERE!!
Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go EVERYwhere.
Good lawyer gets Sodomy reduced to following too close.
Goodness has NOTHING to do with it.....
Got my Uzi, got some Scotch...let's go to Disneyland!
Gotta love me!
Gotta run, the cat's caught in the printer again...
Grab your helmet, get your bike, it's SHOWTIME!
Graduate Of The Uncle Fester & Keith Moon School of hair styling
Graffiti has changed deface of the nation.
Gravity brings me down
Gravity doesn't exist. The Earth sucks.
Gravity doesn't exist. The Earth sucks.
Gravity isn't MY fault--I voted for Velcro!
Great beer bellies are made, not born.
Great minds travel in the same sewers.
Greed is good! Greed is right! Greed works!
Grow your own dope; Plant a politician.
Grow your own dope... plant a man
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional!!
Grub first, then ethics.
Gun Control:  Ability to hit what you aim at!
Gun control is hitting what you aim at.
Gun control is being able to hit your target!
Guns don't kill people. Bullets kill people.
Guns don't kill people... death does.
Guns don't kill people..., I kill people!
H lp! S m b d st l ll th v w ls fr m m k yb rd!
HA HAH HA HAH HAH <SMACK> ... oof ...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HAL 9000: Dave. Put down those Windows disks, Dave. DAVE!
HEY!! Who's been messing with my anti-paranoia medicine?
Hackito ergo sum.
Hailing frequencies open, Captain.
Hand me that crowbar... I must pry out this bullet.
Happiness is a warm gun.
Happiness is finding special characters
Happiness is not a destination. It's the trip.
Happiness is a warm modem
Happiness is...receiving YOUR posts!!!!
Happiness is Earth in your rear view mirror.
Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law's face on the back of a milk
Hard Work never killed anyone, but why chance it?
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Hard work has a future pay-off. Laziness pays off now!
Hard work must have killed someone!
Has it ever rained cats and dogs?
Hasta la vista, Baby!
Have Tardis, will travel.
Have a cold? Let me introduce you to Doc Jack Kevorkian.
Have an adequate day.
Have cursor, will curse.
Have it OUR way. Yours is IRRELEVANT. At BORGerKing.
Have you ever talked into an acoustic modem?
Have you seen Quasimoto? I have a hunch he's back!
Having Windows problems? Dial 1-800-3-IBM-OS2 for fast relief!
Having two bathrooms ruins the capacity to co-operate.
He does the work of 3 Men...Larry, Curly, and Moe
He does the work of 3 Men...Moe, Larry & Curly
He has Van Gogh's ear for music.
He only opens his mouth to change feet!
He who Laughs, Lasts.
He who always plows a straight furrow is in a rut.
He who asks timidly makes denial easy.
He who dies with the most access, wins.
He who dies with the most toys... is *still* DEAD!
He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
He who laughs last probably made a backup.
He who laughs last is S-L-O-W.
He who laughs last, didn't get the punch line.
He who lives by the sword laughs last.
He who places head in sand, will get kicked in the end!
He who shouts the loudest has the floor.
He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
He who slings mud loses ground.
He's dead Jim. Grab his tricorder. I'll get his wallet.
He's dim, Jed
He's not dead, Jim, he's just metabolically challenged.
Headline:  Snake Bites Lawyer And Dies
Headline:  Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice
Headline:  Silent Mobster Gets Unusual Punishment, Lawyer
Headline: "Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms"
Headline: THUGS EAT THEN ROB PROPRIETOR
Heads I win... DITTO tails
Health food makes me sick.
Heisenberg slept here, I think.
Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of woman scorned!
Help endangered species - adopt a KGB operative.
Help fight continental drift.
Help fight CDD:  Clue Deficiency Disorder.
Help stamp out vandalism, or I'll break all your windows!
Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!
Help stamp out mental illness, or I'll kill you!
Help stamp out, eliminate, and abolish redundancy!
Help!  I've been possessed by a UNIX daemon!
Help! I'm lost somewhere in the Generation Gap.
Help! I've been stuck in here for years and years...
Help! Police! That guy stole my .sig! STOP!!! THIEF!!!
Help!!! I'm falling and I can't click out!!!
Help, I'm slipping into the Twilight Zone!
Here today, gaunt tomorrow.
Here, you go first, you're immune to bullets.
Hey Santa, can I have a copy of your naughty girls list?
Hey!  Don't shoot that postal worker <BANG!> NO  CARRIER
Hey! Hacker! Leave those lists alone!
Hey! This is a morgue, not an amusement park!
Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch??!
Hey, CServe/Unisys! Stick it where the sun don't shine!
Hey, Santa! How much for the list of naughty boys?
Hey, Worf...I hooked Data up to a Modem...Wanna see?
Hey, wake up! It's time for your sleeping pills.
Hi! I can't remember your name either.
Hi, I'm from Corporate. I'm here to help you.
Hi. I'll be your tagline for this evening.
High message: 9434567. Message last read: 9.
Hills weed out the weak. Darwin would argue this is good.
Hindsight is an exact science.
Hindsight is always 20:20.
Hire teenagers while they still know everything.
History is a set of lies agreed upon by the Victors
History repeats itself because nobody listens!
Hm..what's this red button fo:=/07Hmm...Nice tagline. SUCKER!!! AH,
Hold on a sec, my other ear is ringing.
Hole drilled in ladies' room wall; Police looking into it
Hollow chocolate has no calories
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom.
Honest politician: one who, when bought, stays bought
Honesty pays, but not enough for some.
Honey, PLEASE don't pick up the PH$@#*&$^(#@&$^%(*NO CARRIER
Honeymoon Salad: Lettuce alone, with no dressing.
Honeymoon: time between "I do" and "you'd better"
Hong Kong, Son of King Kong
Honk if you love obscene gestures.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Honk if you love cheeses.
Honk, if you have slept with Clinton.
Horn busted; watch for finger...
Horn busted! Watch for finger...
Hors d'oeuvres--a ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
Hot water Heaters:  hot water needs heating?
Housework done properly, can kill you
Houston! do you read.
How can you be so deaf with those huge ears?
How can you be so deaf with those huge ears?
How come pizza gets to your house faster than the police?
How come there's only one Monopolies Commission?
How come the AT&T logo looks like the Death Star?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
How did I get round from eating square meals?
How did a fool and his money get together to begin with?
How do I set my laser printer for stun?
How do they get teflon to stick to the pans?
How do women get minks? Same way minks get minks
How do you pronounce my name? With reverence.
How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
How do you know it's summer in Seattle? Rain's warm!
How do you make Windows faster ? Throw it harder
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalog!
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalog!
How does one expect the unexpected?
How long is a short story?
How long will a floating point operation float?
How many consultants will fit onto the head of a pin?
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!
How many weeks are there in a light year?
How much can I get away with and still go to heaven?
How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
Hug a porcupine today!
Humpty dumpty was pushed.
Husbands are living proof that women can take a joke.
Hydrate or Die.
Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got.
I *LOVE* it when a plan comes together!
I BBS because no one can read my handwriting.
I Cayman went.
I Have To Stop Now, My Fingers Are Getting Hoarse!
I M a tru beleever in hour edukashun sistum.
I Still miss my ex-wife.....BUT, My aim is improving!
I Think....therefore I'm OVER QUALIFIED!!!!!!!!!
I Xeroxed a mirror...now I have an extra Xerox machine!
I admit it's offbeat, but lets not get hysterical.
I always lie. In fact, I'm lying to you right now!
I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
I am Clinton of Borg...your paycheck will be assimilated!
I am Clinton of Borg. Your income will be assimilated.
I am Homer of Borg! Prepare to be...OOooooo! Donuts!!!
I am Lancelot of Borg. Resistance is feudal.
I am NOT in denial!!!
I am both of us & so are you.
I am built for comfort, not speed!
I am correct, the rest of you are wrong!
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
I am functioning within established parameters.
I am in total control, but don't tell my wife.
I am in total control, but don't tell my wife.
I am neither for nor against apathy.
I am not 40, I'm 18 with 22 years experience
I am not an animal! I am ... well, not an animal.
I am not arguing with you, I'm telling you.
I am not young enough to know everything.
I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.
I am sweet and lovable at all times.
I am the Shopping Cart that nicks at your paint-job.
I am the girl-next-door's imaginary boyfriend.
I am what I am and that's all that I am.
I am. Therefore, I think. I think.
I apologize to the deaf for the loss of subtitles.
I bet you I could stop gambling.
I bought a cordless extension cord.
I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
I came, I saw, I took LOTS of PICTURES!
I came, I saw, I deleted all your files.
I came, I saw, I confused.
I came... I saw... I stole your tagline.
I can SPELL, I just can't TYPE worth a hoot !
I can do without essentials but I must have my luxuries
I can keep a secret.  It's the people I tell that can't
I can quit anytime I want; I just don't want to!
I can resist anything but temptation.
I can tell you are lying. Your lips are moving.
I can walk on water, but I stagger on alcohol.
I can't be overdrawn, I still have checks left!
I can't be overdrawn, I still have checks left!
I can't believe my computer's on fire.
I can't hear you. There's a banana republic in my ear.
I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!!
I could be arguing in my spare time.
I could have stuck with DOS, but NO.
I couldn't fix your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
I couldn't possibly fail to disagree with you less.
I didn't cheat, I just changed the Rules!
I didn't know it was impossible when I did it.
I distinctly remember forgetting that.
I distinctly remember forgetting that.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
I do this kind of stuff to him all through the picture.
I don't care who you are, Fatso. Get the reindeer off my roof!
I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would
I don't care if I'm apathetic.
I don't do Windows, but OS/2 does.
I don't eat snails... I prefer FAST food!
I don't hate Windows - it runs great under OS/2!
I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
I don't have a solution but I really admire the problem.
I don't have all the answers, just those that count.
I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily.
I don't need a disclaimer. I OWN the company.
I don't own any slaves. My wife has one, though.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
I don't think, therefore I am not.
I don't want the world, I just want your half.
I doubt, therefore I might be.
I drink to make other people interesting.
I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.
I embrace poverty!  To annoy me, send money...
I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.
I feel more like I do now than I did before I started.
I feel so inar-inar-inar tic-u-late
I feel the need......the need for speed!
I finally washed the mud off of mud.
I find myself beside a stream of empty thought
I float like an anchor and sting like a moth.
I gave up on my wife, and married my computer.
I get mail........ I exist.
I give advice worth the price....free!
I got arrested in LA and boy am I beat!
I got everything but the part after "Now listen closely".
I guess a cynic smells different.
I had a life once... now I have a computer and a modem.
I had amnesia once or twice.
I had my coat hangers spayed.
I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.
I hate to repeat gossip, so I'll only say this once.
I have a 9600bps modem and 1.5bps fingers
I have a dirty mind, I mud wrestle with my conscience.
I have a dream: Sword, +100 Holy Avenger vs. Politicians!
I have a firm grip on reality.  Now I can strangle it.
I have a rock garden. 3 of them died last week.
I have a speech impediment... my foot.
I have already not made that point
I have been poor and I have been rich.  Rich is better.
I have but three enemies: fear, anger, ignorance.
I have my wife on a 4 year lease with an option to buy.
I have seen the evidence. I want DIFFERENT evidence!
I have seen the data...now bring me some I can agree with
I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
I have the mars observer and I'm not returning it until I get an 'A'
I have to think twice before I give it a second thought.
I haven't killed anyone in... what time is it, anyway?
I haven't lost my mind, I know exactly where I left it.
I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on disk
I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.
I hear what you're saying but I just don't care.
I idiot-proof my programs, & along comes a bigger idiot.
I is a college student.
I is knot dain bramaged!
I just bought a cured ham. Wonder what it had?
I just tested out my pit bull. Ever heard a mime scream?
I just took an IQ test.  The results were negative.
I keep my .BAT files in D:\BELFRY
I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words
I know everything about everything, except that.
I know it all. I just can't remember it all at once.
I like candy, especially the gooey kind with nougat!
I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.
I like my men barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen.
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
I like to think of myself as a divide overflow.
I like your approach, now let's see your departure.
I like your approach, now let's see your departure
I lost a button hole today.
I lost my knickers at Niagara.
I love animals!  But they all seem to taste like chicken.
I love it when a plan comes together!
I made it foolproof. They are making better fools!
I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
I may be getting older, but I refuse to grow up
I may be weird, but I'm saving up to be eccentric!
I may be wrong, but I'm never in doubt!
I may have settled in shipping.
I may have my faults, but being wrong ain't one of them.
I may look busy, but I'm just confused!
I may not always be perfect, but I'm always me.
I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent.
I mustanottagottalotta sleep last night.
I need a drink...where's the SPACE BAR?
I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
I need to put out the cat, said the fireman.
I neutered my cat. Now he's a consultant.
I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget.
I never drink water...fish fuck in it! -- W. C. Fields
I never get lost, just momentarily disoriented.
I never met a chocolate I didn't like!
I only counted 100 dalmatians...!!!
I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go.
I parked my hard disk and now I can't find it!
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up.
I post.......... I am
I promise results, not promises.
I really don't understand everything I know.
I refuse a battle of wits with an unarmed person!
I remember when Saturns were rockets, not cars.
I saw, I came, I cleaned it up.
I say!  Why is that radio humming?...
I smashed a Window and saw... OS/2!
I spilled spot remover on my dog, and now he's gone.
I started out with nothing, & still have most of it left!
I still miss my ex-wife - but my aim is improving!
I still miss my ex, but my aim is improving...
I support the metric system every inch of the way!
I take an instant dislike to lawyers.  It saves time.
I think I strained a muscle I didn't know I had!
I think my learning curve has turned into a circle.
I think, therefore I am, I think
I think, therefore I'm single.
I think, therefore I am. I think.
I think. Therefore I am DANGEROUS.
I thought I was wrong but I was mistaken.
I thought I was a wit, and I was half right.
I tried being reasonable once. I didn't like it.
I tried drowning my problems, but found they can swim!
I tried switching to gum but I couldn't keep it lit.
I tried to contain myself, but I escaped!
I tried to drown my problems but they can swim!
I tried to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
I tried to drown my sorrows, but they can swim.
I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.
I typed FORMAT COM1 and killed my Sysop!
I t±ld yo±, "Never±touch ±he flop±y disk s±rface!"
I used to be disgusted, but now I'm just amused.
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now.
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
I used to jog, but the ice kept falling out of my glass.
I used to spell badlie, but now I got worser.
I used to watch TV, then I bought a modem.
I wake near the end of the day.
I want .50 cal machine guns as a factory option.
I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather, not
I warn you not to underestimate my powers.
I was arrested for selling illegal sized paper.
I was arrested for walking in someone else's sleep.
I was going to procrastinate, but I put it off....
I was on a roll, till I slipped on the butter.
I was once sane for about a week, but quickly recovered!
I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now
I was talking during sex and my girlfriend hung up.
I went on a 30-day diet - and lost 30 days!
I will defend to your death my right to my opinion.
I wish life had a scroll-back buffer.
I won't rise to the occaasion, but I'll slide over to it.
I wouldn't touch the Metric System with a 3.048m pole!
I wrote a few children's books, but not on purpose.
I xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous
I'd give my left arm to be ambidextrous
I'd like a return ticket please. Why, to HERE, of course!
I'd like to live like a poor person with lots of money.
I'd love to, but there's a disturbance in the Force.
I'd love to, but the last time I went, I never came back.
I'd love to, but my patent is pending.
I'd love to, but you know how we psychos are.
I'd love to, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
I'd love to, but I have to study for a blood test.
I'd love to, but I've dedicated my life to linguini.
I'd love to, but my uncle escaped again.
I'd love to, but the President said he might drop in.
I'd love to, but I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.
I'd love to, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
I'd love to, but my crayons all melted together.
I'd love to, but I gotta catch the next train to Bermuda
I'd love to, but I'm observing National Apathy Week.
I'd love to, but none of my socks match.
I'd love to, but my patent is pending.
I'd love to, but I think you want the OTHER Phillip.
I'd love to, but my bathroom tiles need grouting.
I'd love to, but I prefer to remain an enigma.
I'd love to, but I'm trying to be less popular.
I'd love to, but I have to stay home and see if I snore
I'd love to, but I'm touring China with a wok band.
I'd love to, but I have to fulfill my potential.
I'd love to, but I have to rotate my crops.
I'd rather be bicycling!
I'll eat anything that's BRIGHT BLUE!!
I'll get to it on the 2nd Tuesday of next week.
I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!
I'll get you yet, you kwazy wabbit!
I'll have what the gentleman on the floor is having.
I'll jump off that bridge when I come to it.
I'll tell you what's the matter! This parrot is dead!
I'm Buy-sexual, I have to pay for it.
I'm Not Schizophrenic, And Neither Am I.
I'm Serfectly Pober.
I'm a Bum...a BEACH Bum!
I'm a cowboy ... on a steel horse I ride!
I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay!
I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
I'm an OS/2 developer...I don't NEED a life!
I'm an OS/2 beta tester....I don't NEED a life!
I'm an absolute, off-the-wall fanatical moderate.
I'm an amateur crastinator; someday I'll turn pro!
I'm an incorrigible punster, so don't corrige me!
I'm an influential person, gravitationally speaking.
I'm as bored as a pacifist's pistol.
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
I'm as confused as a baby at a topless bar!
I'm at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk.
I'm dangerous when I know what I'm doing.
I'm easy to please as long as I get my way.
I'm easy to please as long as I get my way.
I'm fallin' down a spiral, destination unknown!
I'm fascinated by the way memory diffuses fact.
I'm from the government, and I'm here to help you.
I'm in shape ... round's a shape isn't it?
I'm in shape ... Rounds a shape isn't it?
I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes.
I'm new and what's all this then?
I'm no stranger, just a friend you haven't met...
I'm not a complete idiot... Several parts are missing!
I'm not a complete idiot - several parts are missing.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
I'm not a complete idiot - several parts are missing.
I'm not afraid of flying, I'm afraid of crashing.
I'm not afraid of heights; I'm afraid of widths.
I'm not as dumb as you look.
I'm not broke, I'm just badly bent.
I'm not dead. I'm electroencephelographically challenged.
I'm not dead, I'm metabolically challenged.
I'm not even going to ignore that.
I'm not fat just horizontally disproportionate.
I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you!
I'm not loafing. I work so fast I'm always finished
I'm not lost, I'm "locationally challenged."
I'm not lost, I'm "locationally challenged."
I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am.
I'm not opinionated, I'm just always right!
I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?
I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?
I'm not real smart, but I can lift heavy things.
I'm not rude, I'm "attitudinally challenged".
I'm not rude, I'm "attitudinally challenged".
I'm not spoiled...I'm not, I'm not, I'm not!
I'm not tense, just terribly alert.
I'm not tense, just terribly alert.
I'm not worthless.  I can always serve as a bad example.
I'm on the crest of a slump.
I'm out of sick days, so I'm calling in dead!
I'm pink, therefore I'm Spam.
I'm schizophrenic, What are you?
I'm so broke, I can't even pay attention.
I'm sorry Mrs. Bobbitt, you can't send that in the mail.
I'm sorry, I can't hear you, there's a banana in my ear!
I'm spending a year dead for tax purposes.
I'm spending a year dead for tax purposes.
I'm sure it's in the manual somewhere...
I'm sure it's clearly explained in the Zmodem DOC's
I'm the person your mother warned you about.
I'm too smart to let my intelligence go to my head.
I'm turning you in to the SPCA!
I've been seduced by the chocolate side of the force.
I've got Parkinson's disease. And he's got mine.
I've got a mind like a.. a.. what's that thing called?
I've got to sit down and work out where I stand.
I've had fun before. This isn't it.
I've met zucchini with more potential.
I've run out of sick leave so I'm calling in dead.
I've seen condom vending machines, but this one installs.
I've seen the future. I can't afford it.
I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!!
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
IBM: I've Been Misled
IBM: It may be slow, but at least it's expensive.
IBM: you can buy better, but you can't pay more
IF numcooks > .maxcooks THEN;SET V broth = 'spoiled';END
INTERLACE: To tie two boots together.
Ideal weight for a lawyer: 2-1/2 lbs, including the urn.
Ideas are not responsible for their followers!
If (Wife = "yes") then (MONEY = "Gone") else Single
If At First You Don't Succeed Ignore The Docs...
If Clinton is "mainstream," I want out of the river!
If Clinton's the answer, it must have been a really stupid question.
If God wanted us metric, there'd have been 10 disciples!
If I can't win, I don't wanna play!
If I can't fix it, it's probably dead.
If I die, I forgive you; if I recover, we shall see.
If I follow you home, will you keep me?
If I had anything witty to say, I wouldn't put it here.
If I had been using Windoze, I'd still be writing this.
If I save time, when do I get it back ?
If I save time, when do I get it back ?
If I save the whales, where do I keep them?
If I throw a cat out the car window, is it kitty litter?
If I want your opinion I'll beat it out of you!
If I want your stupid opinion, I'll beat it out of you.
If I were here more often, I wouldn't be gone so much.
If I were here more often, I wouldn't be gone so much.
If I were two faced, would I wear this one?
If I were you, who'd be me?
If Marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws!
If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.
If The Shoe Fits - The Sock Fits !
If Vegetarians eat vegetables,...Beware of humanitarians.
If Version 1.0 works someone goofed...
If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?
If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
If a tree falls on a florist, would he make a sound?
If all goes well, you've overlooked something!
If all goes well, you've overlooked something!
If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail
If an experiment works, something has gone wrong
If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport!
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft.
If at first you don't succeed, hide your astonishment.
If at first we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.
If at first you don't succeed, you must be using Windows.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
If at first you don't succeed, call it v1.0!
If at first you don't succeed, put it out for beta test.
If at first you don't succeed, shoot your lawyer!
If at first you don't succeed, call it Ver 1.0
If brains were dynamite you couldn't blow your nose!
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil . . .
If cows could fly, everyone would carry an umbrella.
If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.
If guns are outlawed, how will we shoot the lawyers?
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy folks?
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
If in doubt, make it sound convincing.
If it ain't fixed, don't bust it!!
If it glows don't touch it!
If it has feelings, its not cooked enough!
If it isn't broken, don't fix it.
If it jams, force it....If it breaks, it needed replacing
If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing
If it screams, it's not food, yet....
If it walks out of your refrigerator, LET IT GO !!
If it works, tear it apart and find out why!
If it works, rip it apart and find out why!
If it works, you must have done something wrong.
If it's not broke, let me take a crack at it.
If it's not on fire, it's a software problem.
If it's not worth doing well, it's not worth doing.
If it's not going to plan, maybe there never was a plan.
If it's obvious, it's obviously wrong.
If it's stupid and works, then it ain't stupid
If it's too loud, you're too old.
If it's useless, it will have to be documented.
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
If little else, the brain is an educational toy.
If love is blind, lingerie makes great braille.
If love is blind, lingerie makes great braille.
If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.
If money could talk, it would say goodbye.
If nobody measures up, check your yardstick.
If not for lawyers, we wouldn't need so many lawyers!
If only women came with pull-down menus and on-line help!
If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
If screwups were dollars, I'd be a millionaire!!
If she can't take the heat, get her out of the oven!
If speed scares you, use Windows!
If speed scares you, try Windows...
If the shoe fits, put it in your mouth.
If the thread ended in her jeans, should we follow it?
If the world is a stage, I have stage fright!
If there are epigrams, there must be meta-epigrams.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
If things improve with age, I'm nearly MAGNIFICENT!
If this were an actual tagline, it would be funny.
If truth is stranger than fiction, you must be truth!
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.
If winning isn't important then why keep score?
If you are willing to die, you can do anything!
If you associate with the wise, you will become wise.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
If you break your leg, don't come running to me!
If you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.
If you can't make it good, make it LOOK good. -Bill Gates
If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
If you can't make it good, make it expensive.
If you can't make it good, make it big.
If you can't laugh at yourself ... I'll do it for you.
If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?
If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
If you don't like my opinion of you - improve yourself!
If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own.
If you drive, don't park...accidents cause people.
If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.
If you have nothing to say, please only say it once!
If you have nothing to do, don't do it here.
If you have no aim in life, you can't miss.
If you hear an onion ring please answer it.
If you live long enough, it WILL kill you...
If you mess with something long enough it'll break.
If you must drink and drive, drive a Yugo!
If you really want to know, you won't ask me.
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
If you say nothing, no one will repeat it.
If you see an onion ring, ANSWER IT!
If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast!
If you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
If you strangle a Smurf, what color does it turn?
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
If you want the last word with a woman, apologize.
If you want your name spelt wrong, die.
If you want her to show emotion, cut up her credit cards.
If you want the last word with a woman, apologize.
If you wish work poorly done, pay in advance.
If you're not the lead dog, everything looks the same!
If you're not confused, you're not paying attention.
If you're not the solution, you're the precipitate.
If your attack is going well, then it's an ambush..
If your mind goes blank, remember to turn off the sound.
If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it!
Ifyoucanreadthis,youspendtoomuchtimefiguringouttaglines!
Ignorance is temporary; stupid is forever.
Illiterate?  Write for a free brochure...
Imagery is All In The Mind.
Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality!
Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality
Impropriety is the soul of wit.
Improve mail delivery... mail postal workers their pay!!
In God we trust, all others pay cash.
In a fight between you and the world, back the world.
In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a pole.
In an empty head, you can hear forever....
In case of emergency, break glass. Scream. Bleed to death
In case of fire, yell "FIRE!"
In outer space, no one can hear you fart.
In politics stupidity is not a handicap.
In the land of the witless, the halfwit is king.
In the year 2000 an average computer will have 0.6 humans
In war there is no substitute for victory.
In zen skiing, you learn to become one with the snow.
Include this in your CONFIG.SYS File: BUGS=OFF
Include this in your CONFIG.SYS File: BUGS=OFF
Incompetence plus incompetence equals incompetence.
Incontinence hotline... Can you hold, please?
Incorrigible punster -- do not incorrige!
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
Individualists of the world, UNITE!
Individualists of the world, unite!
Inertia makes the world go round.
Inferiority complex: conviction by a jury of your fears.
Infinity is one lawyer waiting for another.
Inflated egos make bigger targets than normal ones.
Innovate or Die.
Innuendo = Italian suppository
Insanity is just a state of mind.
Insanity is just a state of mind.
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
Inscription on a robot's headstone:  "Rust In Peace"
Insert New Disk for Drive C: Press ENTER when ready.
Insert disk 5 of 4 and press any key to continue
Insert inevitable trivial witticism of your choice.
Insomnia isn't anything to lose sleep over.
Insomnia isn't anything to lose sleep over.
Interchangeable parts won't.
Internal combustion engines are the dinosaurs' revenge
International Brotherhood of Tagline Thieves.
Interstellar Matter is a Gas
Invertebrates make no bones about it.
Invest in negotiable blondes...
Invisible Systems, Inc. If you don't see it, we made it.
Iraqi rifle for sale...never fired, but was dropped once!
Iron Law of Distribution: Them that has, gets.
Is "tired old cliche" one?
Is a lawyer without briefs a solicitor?
Is a paradigm worth twenty cents?
Is it OK to yell 'MOVIE' in a crowded firehouse?
Is it in my head...or in my heart?
Is it ok to use my AM radio after NOON?
Is it possible to feel gruntled?
Is that a flying saucer or a pie in the sky?
Is that brain of yours still under warranty?
Is there a lawyer in the house?  *BLAM!*  Any more?
Is there life before coffee?
Is this a machine? I don't talk to machines! [Click]
Is this chair saved? No, but we're praying for it.
Is this the right room for an argument?
It all looks the same if you're not the lead dog.
It can't be full...I STILL HAVE SUBDIRECTORIES!
It compiled, first screen came up?? Ship it! --Bill Gates
It did what? Well, it's not supposed to do that.
It doesn't work, but it looks pretty.
It has many other uses as well. Allow me. - Worf
It is always better to sacrifice your opponent's men
It is always darkest just before you turn on the lights.
It is bad luck to be superstitious.
It is better to wear out than to rust out.
It is better to be brief than boring.
It is broke. It will not work. It does not go.
It is fatal to live too long.
It is incumbent on us to avoid archaisms.
It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
It is much easier to be critical than to be correct
It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
It is, after all, only a moment in the infinity of time.
It really bothers me when people cut me o
It really bothers me when people cut me o...
It said "Insert disk #3", but only 2 will fit!
It said "Insert disk #3", but only two will fit!
It was all so different before everything changed.
It was so cold, I almost got married.
It wasn't my fault your wife wandered into my house!
It's 10:00 PM...do YOU know where YOUR tagline is?
It's 10:00pm.  Do you know where your daughter is?
It's Ensign Flintstone - he's Fred, Jim.
It's SO cold that lawyers' hands are in their OWN pockets
It's a Tough Job! ..... So I'd Rather YOU do it.
It's a fine line between fishing & standing still
It's a fine night to have an evening.
It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.
It's a lawyer, Spock -- set phasers on MAIM!
It's a small world, but I'd hate to have to paint it!
It's a tough job! ..... So I'd Rather YOU do it.
It's an ill wind that gathers no moss.
It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you.
It's bad luck to be superstitious.
It's been a business doing pleasure with you.
It's been a business doing pleasure with you...
It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.
It's best to leave quickly when you make noises like that...
It's better to burn out than to fade away.
It's clever, but is it art?
It's crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide!
It's de ja vu all over again.
It's easier to obtain forgiveness than permission.
It's easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
It's easy to be brave from a safe distance.
It's easy to apply yourself, just use crazy glue!
It's far better to be a has-been than a never-was!
It's hard to be serious when you're naked.
It's hard to RTFM when you can't find the FM..
It's life Jim, but not as we know it.
It's like Deja Vu all over again...
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
It's more than a reader. It's a message base manager!
It's never too late to have a happy childhood
It's not 42, it's 19!! -- Louis Farrakhan
It's not a BUG, it's an undocumented feature!
It's not an optical illusion...it just LOOKS like one!
It's not easy having an overbearing parent! - Troi
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere!
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
It's not in the manual!
It's not just a hobby, it's an obsession!
It's not pretty being easy.
It's not the bullet that kills you, it's the hole.
It's not the bullet that kills you, it's the hole!
It's not the principle of the thing, it's the money
It's not the money I want, it's the stuff.
It's not the money I want, it's the stuff.
It's not worth it.  I'm going back to bed.
It's okay to be ugly...but aren't you overdoing it?
It's only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only a hobby ... only
It's only ones and zeros.
It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is...dead, Jim.
It's smart to pick your friends, but not your nose.
It's starting to rain, .SQZ the animals into the .ARC !
It's tagline poker.  Can you beat EIGHT aces...?
It's the poor tool that blames its workman.
It's true, forgiveness IS easier to get than permission
Its a JOKE, like the funny kind but different.
Its rarely fun, never easy, and always expensive!
Itsdifficulttobeverycreativewithonlyfiftysevencharacters.
Itsdifficulttobeverycreativewithonlyfiftysevencharacters!
JFK: I need this motorcade like a hole in my head!
JFK:1000 days of Camelot. Clinton:1400+ days of Fib-alot!
James Bond rules. 00K.
Jealousy is all the fun you think they have.
Jeffrey Dahmer... the queer that made Milwaukee famous!
Jesus saves....Passes to Moses....He shoots!  HE SCORES!
Jesus saves... passes to Moses... he shoots... he scores!!!!
Jesus saves sinners, and redeems them for valuable cash and prizes!
Jesus saves? Not on my pension, he doesn't!
Jet Engine Theory -Suck, Squeeze, Bang, Blow!
Join the Group Mind - become a Borg
Joseph Stalin's grave was a Communist Plot.
Jumbo shrimp = oxymoron.
Junk - stuff we throw away.  Stuff - junk we keep.
Junk - stuff we throw away.  Stuff - junk we save.
Junk: stuff we throw away. Stuff: junk we keep.
Just a couple of croutons short of a salad
Just because you're STUPID ain't no excuse.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you!
Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get me!
Just don't tell the asylum you saw me here
Just got a new car for my wife... Great trade...
Just how much leg have I got
Just my 78,000 lira worth.
Just my luck -- the Children's Zoo doesn't want my kids!
Just what part of "NO" didn't you understand...?
Just when you thought it was safe to go outside...
Just when you got it all figured out:  An UPGRADE!
Just when you think you've won the rat race along come faster rats.
Justice is incidental to law and order.
Justice: A decision in your favor.
KLEPTOMANIAC (n): Rich thief with good lawyer
Kamikaze Pilot Wanted: Experienced only need apply.
Keep America beautiful.. properly dispose of your lawyer.
Keep America beautiful.. properly dispose of your lawyer.
Keep a clear head and always carry a lightbulb.
Keep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis.
Keyboard Not Found - Press [F1] to Continue
Keyboard is disconnected.  Press F10 to continue
Kicked wide of the goal with such precision.
Kids-They're not sleeping, they're recharging!
Kill them all! .... Let God sort them out.
Killer Rabbit's Motto: "Lettuce Prey."
Kilroy occupied these coordinates.
Kinky: Using A Feather. Sick: Using The Whole Chicken
Kiss your keyboard goodbye!
Klein bottle for rent -- inquire within.
Kleptomania: take something for it
Knocked over the spice rack -- got thyme on my hands.
Know how to save a drowning lawyer?  No?  GOOD!!
Know how to keep a computer nerd in suspense?
Know what I hate? I hate rhetorical questions!
Knowing Murphy's Law won't help either.
LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
LAWYERS do it on a trial basis.
LIE:  terminological inexactitude (from Lawyer's Lexicon)
LISP: To call a spade a thpade.
LISTEN HERE! I HAVE FIRST AMENDENT RIGH(@#$!9*&^ NO CARRIER
LOTUS - Let Only The Users Suffer
Laddie, ya think ya might like ta ... rephrase that?
Land of the Single Entendre...
Larson
Last night sex was so good the neighbors lit cigarettes.
Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.
Last words of Socrates: "I drank what?!?!"
Laugh and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Laughter: The shortest distance between two people.
Lawyer + Godfather = an offer you can't understand
Lawyer: A cat who settles disputes between mice.
Lawyer: One who calls a 1000-page document a brief.
Lawyer: Practitioner of the 2nd oldest profession.
Lawyer: The larval form of a politician.
Lawyer: The only animal that defecates from both ends....
Lawyers *ARE* the problem.
Lawyers aren't crooks - just "ethically challenged."
Lawyers could be an important source of protein.
Lawyers do it to everyone.
Lawyers elected to office pass laws that benefit lawyers!
Lawyers' Advice:  If sh!t happens, SUE someone!
Lawyers, the mothers of deception.
Lawyers.  If we can't kill 'em, at least sterilize 'em!
Lawyers.  Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out!
Lawyers: The best argument yet against gun control.
Lawyers: The best argument yet in favor of abortion.
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
Lead me not into temptation, I can find my own way
Learn the basics of Clintonomics.  Call 1-900-SUK-U-DRY!
Lei da experiencia: Nao vai funcionar.
Lesser artists borrow. Great artists steal.
Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it!
Let's organize this thing and take all the fun out of it.
Let's split up, we can do more damage that way.
Leve um ima pra passear na sua caixa de diskettes !
Liberal - a power worshiper without power.
Libraries: There are no answers, only cross references.
Life & liberty are safe only when congress is in recess.
Life - an always fatal sexually transmitted disease.
Life - brief interlude between nothingness and eternity.
Life can be great if you live it to the fullest!
Life is a game.  Money is how we keep score.
Life is a series of very rude awakenings.
Life is a sandwich, and it's always lunchtime
Life is just one thing after another.
Life is like......an analogy.
Life is like a Car-wash and I'm on a bicycle.
Life is not fair...it IS, however, quite a circus.
Life is only as long as you live it.
Life is serious, but ART is fun!
Life is short, eat dessert first.
Life is tough, but it's a lot tougher if you're stupid!
Life is tough. It's tougher when you're stupid.
Life is uncertain...eat dessert first!
Life sucks, but Death swallows!
Life would be easier if I had the source code.
Life's not passing me by...it's RUNNING ME OVER!!
Life's too short to dance with ugly men.
Life's too short to dance with ugly women.
Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it.
Likelihoods, however, are 90% against you.
Likes and dislikes are among my favorites
Linux, the choice of a GNU generation.
Liposuction will destroy your FAT
Live before you die.
Live fast, end discriminatory hiring practices, die young!
Live long and prosper... But don't let the IRS know.
Living poor is best left to those with no money.
Locked coathanger in car. Good thing I had a key.
Locked coat hanger in the car...good thing I had a key!
Logica: metodo sistematico de chegar a conclusao errada com confianca.
Look out for #1: Don't step in #2!
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
Lord, give me patience!  RIGHT NOW!!
Lots of people make sense, I want to make $$$
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener.
Love is grand. Divorce is twenty grand.
Love of money is the root of all politics.
Lunatic asylum: where optimism most flourishes.
Luxuriantly hand-crafted from only the finest ASCII.
Luxuriantly hand-crafted from only the finest ASCII.
M.A.D.D.: Midgets Against Desk Drawers.
MAN.ZIP: Great program. No docs, but fun to pkunzip!
MAYBE, and that's final!
MODEM: Contraction, as in Give me modem cookies!
MONEY IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL. Send $20 for more info.
MOPAR = Move Over Plymouth Approaching Rapidly!
MS Windows -- From the people who brought you EDLIN!
MS-DOS: celebrating ten years of obsolescence
Macho does not prove Mucho.
Macro: last half of expression of surprise:  Holy Macro!
Madness takes its toll; please have exact change.
Madness takes it's toll. Please have exact change.
Mail your ideas written on the back of a $20 bill to...
Make Headlines..use a corduroy pillow....
Make her eyes light up - shine a flashlight in her ear!
Make it as simple as possible, but no simpler.
Make it do ... Or do without.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Make like a tree and leave.
Make like a drum and beat it!
Make like a baby and head out.
Make like a Tom and Cruise.
Make like a banana and split.
Make somebody happy. Mind your own business.
Make up a language and ask people for directions.
Man has his will. Woman has her won't!
Man invented language to satisfy his need to complain.
Man who get hit by car, get that run down feeling
Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself
Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloon
Marching to a different kettle of fish.
Mary had a little RAM -- only about a MEG or so.
Math is the language God used to write the universe.
Math problems? Call 1-800-2x[3y+a]sin/(5x)
Math problems? Call 1-800-[5E1*(9^2+18/3)+49^(1/2)] !
May I please be excused? My Brain is full.
May all your hang-ups be drip-dry.
May the Porsche be with you.
May the wind at your back always be your own.
May you live in interesting times.
May you live all the days of your life.
May your life be filled with experiences.
May your screen live long and phosphor.
Maybe they'll send you a free upgrade...NOT!
Me know gammar. Me cood use it gud.
Me, indecisive?  I don't think I am, do you?
Mediocrity requires aloofness to preserve it's dignity
Meditation is not what you Think.
Meet the new Boss--same as the old Boss...
Megabyte: A nine course dinner.
Member: International Brotherhood of Tagline Thieves!
Memories of you remind me of you.
Memory is a thing we forget with.
Memory is the second thing to go; first is...uh...
Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
Mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence
Metamorphic geologists are gneiss people!
Meu endereco na Internet: [e-mail]
Microfiche: Sardines.
Microsoft Windows... a virus with mouse support.
Microsoft gives you Windows... OS/2 gives you the whole house.
Microwave Hint#3: Make a hole in the turtle's shell first
Migratory lifeform with a tropism for parties
MilliHelen: Amount of beauty required to launch 1 ship.
Mind if I ask if you mind?
Minds are like parachutes, they only work when open.
Minds, like parachutes, work best when open.
Misfortune: The kind of fortune that never misses.
Misfortune: The kind of fortune that never misses.
Misspelled? Impossible. My modem is error correcting!
Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.
Mistress: something between a mister and a matteress
Modem 28800 a U$ 120 : "No necessita garantia, la garantia soy jo!"
Modem de portugues funciona a CANECAS ao inves de BAUDS.
Modem naked!
Modem: What landscapers do to dem lawns.
Modern man is the missing link between apes and human beings.
Mole problems?  Call Avogadro 6.02 x 10^23.
Molecular biologists wear designer genes!
Monday is coming soon to a calendar near you!
Mondays are a helluva way to spend 1/7 of your life.
Money is like a promise, easier made then kept.
Money is the root of all wealth.
Money is the root of all politics.
Money talks - mine says "Goodbye"
Monogamy leaves a lot to be desired.
Monopoly? No, we just don't want competition.
Most of our future lies ahead.
Most of us have been at work for several hours now.
Mother is the invention of necessity.
Motherhood is the necessity of invention.
Motor City vampires prefer multiple viscosity.
Multitasking = screwing up several things at once.
Multitasking = 3 PCs and a chair with wheels!
Multitasking causes schizophrenia..
Murdered Girl Found Dead... Details at 10.
Murphy is out there... waiting...
Murphy was an optimist.
Murphy's law needs to be repealed.
Must Go - My Rotweiler needs its teeth sharpened.
Must you ALWAYS have the last word?
My *taglines* are original. *I* am a copy.
My Body's here, but my Mind's on vacation.
My JOB is secure...it's ME they can do without!
My RAM's not what it used to be, so don't quote me.
My attention isn't hard to get. It IS hard to keep...
My best friend is a social worker.
My boss is tempermental.  50% temper and 50% mental.
My computer's sick, I think my modem's a carrier
My computer can beat up your computer.
My computer has a terminal illness
My couch potato routine honed to perfection
My fallacies are more logical than your fallacies.
My favorite mythical creature?  The honest lawyer.
My foolish parents taught me to read and write.
My hat covers my head... Just like hair used to!
My haystack had no needle!
My head is sore, and there's a hole in the brick wall!
My inferiority complexes aren't as good as yours.
My karma ran over your dogma.
My life may be strange, but at least it's not boring
My message above. Your response here ____________.
My other computer is an abacus.
My other computer is a HAL 9000.
My other computer is a Cray Y/MP-4!
My other vehicle is a Galaxy Class Starship ...
My reality check just bounced.
My tagline can beat up your tagline!
My weight is perfect for my height... which varies.
My wife loves ME--it's the computer she hates!
NAVY: Never Again Volunteer Yourself
NETWORK: What fishermen do when not fishing.
NEWS FLASH!  World ends at 3 pm...Details at 5
NEWS FLASH!  Atwater-Kent bankrupt; receiver appointed
NEWS! Drunk gets nine months in violin case
NEWS! Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
NEWS! Iraqi head seeks arms
NEWS! Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
NEWS! Stolen painting found by tree
NEWS! Survivor of siamese twins joins parents
NO! Taco Bell is NOT the Mexican Phone Company!
NUMBER CRUNCHING: Jumping on a Computer.
Naaah, real men don't read docs.
Namorada Gravida: (A)borta (R)econhece ou (F)oge?
Namorado e' a versao Shareware do marido....
Nanosecond: Mork's stunt man.
Nao pirateio programas. So copio emprestado.
Nao preciso mais comer nem dormir...Comprei um Modem
Need a sleazy lawyer?  1-800-WE SUE 4 U.
Neil Armstrong tripped.
Neither rain, nor snow, nor l?ne n*oi*se
Network management is like trying to herd cats...
Neurotic: Self-taut person.
Never argue with a woman when she's tired, or rested.
Never assume. It makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me".
Never assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
Never confuse justice with the law. -- Clarence Darrow
Never count your chickens before they rip your lips off.
Never do card tricks for the gang you play poker with.
Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you
Never eat anything bigger than your head.
Never eat more than you can lift.
Never fight with a bear in his own cave.
Never go with the odds
Never hit a man with glasses.  Use your fist!
Never hit a man with glasses. Use your fist!
Never insult 7 men when all you're packing is a 6-shooter
Never judge a man by his taglines.
Never kiss anything that doesn't have lips.
Never let your feet run faster than your shoes.
Never mind the facts - I know what I know.
Never park your hard disk in a tow-away zone.
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn!
Never say, "Oops!"; always say, "Ah, interesting!"
Never test for an error you don't know how to handle.
Never trust a man who can count to 1,023 on his fingers
Never trust a bald guy!
Never trust a person who says, "Trust Me"....
Never trust anyone whose name ends with a vowel!
Never trust a skinny cook.
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.
Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.
Never, never, NEVER moon a werewolf!!
New Highway gets Railroaded.
New religion? I haven't used up the old one, yet!
Newsbytes - Microsoft announce EDLIN for Windows.
Next time you wave, use ALL of your fingers!!
Nihilism should commence with oneself.
Ninety per cent of everything is crap.
Nitpicking: Not just a hobby, it's a way of life!
Nitrate: Lower than the day rate.
No .sig is a good .sig
No Credit, Bad Credit? No Problem. No Money?  Problem.
No baby on board, feel free to rear-end me!
No brain, no pain.
No free lunch in an ecosystem.
No matter where you go, there you are.
No one EXPECTS the Spanish Inquisition!!!
No one ever said "if I'd only spent more time in the office"
No radio. Already stolen.
No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.
No wanna work. Wanna bang on keyboard.
No woman should imitate men; men are not worth it.
No, "monogamy" is NOT a type of wood!!!
No, I'm from Iowa. I only work in Outer Space.
No, no, nurse! I said SLIP off his SPECTACLES!!
Nobody roots for Goliath.
Nobody shoots at Santa Claus.
Nodding the head does not row the boat.
None of you exist, my Sysop types all this in.
Nostalgia buff: Finds the past perfect and present tense.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be!
Not a computer nerd; merely a techno-weenie.
Not a real tagline, but an incredible soy substitute.
Not many people realize just how well known I am.
Not now, John, we gotta get on with the game show...
Not quite human any longer.
Not tonight dear, I have a modem.
Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come
Nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse.
Nothing is 100% certain, bug free or IBM compatible.
Nothing is impossible for anyone impervious to reason
Nothing is foolproof because fools are so ingenious
Nothing is so smiple that it can't get screwed up.
Nothing recedes like success.
Nothing succeeds like excess.
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
Now entering Iowa. Please set your clocks back 20 years.
Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.
Now is not a good time to annoy me
Now is the time for all good men to come to.
Now that I've given up hope I feel much better...
Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean?
Nyuck Nyuck Nyuck! [POP!] Oooooooh, a wise guy!
O LSD faz O CGA ter 16,7 milhoes de cores
O Oysters come and walk with us, the Walrus did beseech.
O Universo por nos conhecido e apenas uma versao beta...
O impossivel nos fazemos. Milagre precisa de mais memoria.
OK Scotty, detonate and energize NOW! No, wait, I mean.......
OK, I'm weird! But I'm saving up to become eccentric.
OMNIA STERCUS BOVIS EST!
OPERATOR! Trace this call and tell me where I am.
OS/2 - Not just another pretty program loader!
OS/2 - Taking the wind out of Windows.
OS/2 : your brain -- Windows : your brain on drugs
OS/2 VirusScan - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/y)"
OS/2 is not about fixing old Windows, but opening new doors.
OUT TO LUNCH - If not back at five, OUT TO DINNER!
Obe Wan Kenobi at the dinner table: "Use the FORKS, Luke!"
Objection, your Honor! My client is an idiot!
Objectivity is in the eye of the beholder
Objects in taglines are closer than they appear.
Objects under T-Shirt are larger than they appear.
Objects under T-Shirt are larger than they appear.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most!
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most!
Of all the people I've met you're certainly one of them
Of all the people I've met, you're certainly one of 'em.
Of course I'm running Windows[kVxB NO CARRIER
Of course I have backup tapes!  Do you want last years?
Oh goody! Another Muranium Explosive Space Modulator!
Oh no you don't! You're not stealing this one!
Oh no, not another learning experience!
Oh, Bullwinkle, that trick NEVER works!
Ok, I pulled the pin. Now what? Where are you going?
Okay - right after this one we're BACK to the TOPIC
Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
Old MacDonald had a computer with an EIE I/O
Old age is better than the alternative.
Old country formula for getting rich:  Spend < Make!
Old lawyers never die ─ they just lose their briefs.
On a clear disk you can seek forever.
On a scale of 1 to 10, 4 is about 7.
On an electrician's truck: Let Us Remove Your Shorts
One atom bomb can really ruin your day.
One good turn gets most of the blanket.
One is never as happy or unhappy as one imagines.
One lawyer can steal more than a hundred men with guns.
One man's Windows are another man's walls...
One man's fish is another man's poisson!
One man's upload is another man's download
One night I came home very late. It was the next night
One should hardly ever equivocate.
One tactical thermonuclear weapon can ruin your whole day.
One way to stop a run away horse is to bet on him.
One way to better your lot is to do a lot better...
Only 19,999 lines of C++ to my next ski trip...
Only cosmetologists give make-up exams.
Only lawyers are trusted less than used car salesmen.
Only the mediocre are always at their best.
Only the winners decide what were war crimes.
Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
Open Mouth. Insert Foot. Chew Carefully.
Optimization hinders evolution.
Originality is the art of concealing your sources.
Our houseplants have a good sense of humous.
Our necessities are few but our wants are endless...
Out here in the fields...I fight for my meals...!
Out of Memory!? But I fed you 6 Megs this morning!
Out of the mouths of babes does often come cereal.
Out of toilet paper?  Wipe your butt with a spotted owl!
Outlaw junk mail, and save the trees!
Overload--core meltdown sequence initiated.
Oxymoron - Military Intelligence
Oxymoron - Definite possibility
Oxymoron: Bosnian Cease-Fire
Oxymoron: Clearly Misunderstood.
Oxymoron: Soviet Union.
Oxymoron: one who uses too much acne goo
PC! Politically Correct (or) Pure Crap!
PCBackup: 1 of 1362 disks.
PI seconds is a nanocentury (+/- 0.5 percent).
PI seconds is a nanocentury. - Tom Duff, Bell Labs
PKZip - it's not just for downloads anymore
POLICE TAGLINE DO NOT CROSS POLICE TAGLINE DO NOT CROSS P
POLITICS: Poly: many + Tics: blood sucking parasites
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
Palindrome isn't one.
Papai, o que quer dizer FORMATTING DRIVE C: ?
Para transformar um 486 em XT. Digite WIN e tecle [ENTER]
Para ver a tagline, pressione Ctrl+Alt+Del............
Paranoia is heightened awareness.
Paranoia is simply an optimistic outlook on life.
Pardon my driving, I'm trying to reload.
Pascal: What's it Wirth?
Passwords are implemented as a result of insecurity.
Patience is a virtue that carries a lot of WAIT!
Pay your electric bill in pennies.
Peace through superior firepower.
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
People are always available for work in the past tense.
People have all the theories; dogs have all the facts.
People say I'm apathetic, but I don't care.
People who make sweaters are knitwits.
People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses.
People who live in glass houses shouldn't!
Pera! Sysop, falta pouco para eu @#$%^&*\! NO CARRIER
Perot/Bush/Quayle: The Millionaire, Skipper & Gilligan.
Pet Store: "Buy one, get one flea."
Petroleum and coffee had no value a few centuries ago.
Pets are fun.  My cat likes to play Hide-And-Go-Puke.
Philosophy:  unintelligible answers to insoluble problems
Pi R squared. Nooo! Pie R round, cornbread R square!
Pinnochiosis: why Clinton's eyebrows raise when he lies
Pizza IS the four food groups!
Plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery.
Plagiarism prohibited, derive carefully.
Plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery.
Plankton lobbyist: "NUKE THE WHALES!"
Plasma is another matter.
Plastic explosives will be appropriate later in the week.
Please Tell Me if you Don't Get This Message
Please affix a 29-cent stamp on your next message.
Please call the windows police. I've caught another gpf.
Please don't drink and post.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
Please recycle this tagline. Once is not enough.
Please save the above drivel for future reference!
Please type your Bank PIN number in your reply again.
Pobody's Nerfect!
Poets go from bad to verse
Point not found. A)bort, R)eread, I)gnore.
Polaroids: What polar bears get from sitting on icecaps.
Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun.
Political panjandrums prologize pedantic paronomasia.
Politicians are like diapers, they need to be changed often.
Politicians cut red tape....LENGTHWISE
Politics -- poli (many) + tics (blood-sucking parasites)
Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.
Polls show that 9 out of 6 schizophrenics agree.
Poop deck: The lower level of a canary's cage
Poor man's bagpipe: stuff cat under arm, pull on tail.
Pornography? I don't even have a pornograph!
Positive: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Pound forehead on keyboard to continue.
Power corrupts, but we need electricity.
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
Precinct Toilets Stolen; Police Have Nothing To Go On.
Predestination was doomed from the start.
Predestination was doomed from the start.
Predicting the future of technology is fraud with peril!
Prejudice is the reason of fools. - Voltaire.
Preserve wildlife... pickle a sqirrel.
Preserve wildlife... pickle a rat.
Press -- to continue...
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit
Press any key...NO, NO, NO, NOT THAT ONE!!!!!!
Pretend to spank me -- I'm a pseudo-masochist!
Pretend to spank me - I'm a Psuedo-Masochist
Pro bozo publico:  Support your local clown.
Procrastination: The art of keeping up with yesterday.
Procrastination means never having to say you're sorry.
Procrastination Day Has Been Postponed!
Professionals built the Titanic, amateurs built the ark.
Professionals built the Titanic, amateurs built the ark.
Program too small to fit into memory.
Programmers don't get sniffles, they get a CODE.
Programming is an art form that fights back.
Progress is made on alternate Fridays.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out!
Prosecutors will be violated
Psychiatrists stay on your mind.
Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots.
Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots.
Public Restroom-The only place a flush beats a full house
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Purranoia: the fear one's cats are up to something.
Push the limit, and the limit will move away!
Put on your seatbelt. I wanna try something.
Put on your seatbelt. I'm gonna try something new.
Put the dog out?? I didn't know it was burning!!
Pyromaniacs of the world, ignite!
Quando tudo vai bem, e porque algo vai dar errado.
Quantum mechanics do it in leaps.
Quasimodo is a dead ringer.
Que fio e ess<=V++o /NO CARRIER
Question Authority, ask me anything
Quick!  Call me a taxi!...
Quick!!! Act as if nothing had happened!
R. Frost
RAID Antivirus - Kills Virus's DEAD!!!
RU-486?  No, IM-386!
Racial prejudice is a pigment of the imagination.
Radioactive halibut will make fission chips.
Random order is an oxymoron.
Random order = oxymoron
Rap is to music as Etch-a-Sketch is to art.
Rap music = oxymoron
Read enclosed instructions carefully before opening!
Read the dictionary backwards and look for secret messages.
Real Programmers aren't afraid to use GOTO's.
Real Trekkers work out at the He's Dead Gym.
Real men don't set for stun.
Real men write self-modifying code.
Reality is for people who can't handle Star Trek.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle buttons
Reality is an obstacle to hallucination.
Reality is an obstacle to hallucination.
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
Really ?? What a coincidence, I'm shallow too!!
Recursive, adj.; see Recursive
Red ship crashes into blue ship - sailors marooned.
Reduce Carbon Dioxide emmissions - STOP Breathing
Redundancy: airbags in a politician's car.
Redundancy: A Politician with an airbag in his car.
Refuse Novocain...Transcend Dental Medication!
Remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.
Remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.
Remember, If you're not in bed by 10:30..... go home!
Remember, Subaru spelled backwards is U-R-A-BUS.
Reputation: what others are not thinking about you.
Resist everything but temptation.
Resistance Is Useless! (If < 1 ohm)
Resistance Is Futile!   (If < 1 ohm)
Return((usBirdInHand = 2 * InTheBush()));
Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.
Revolution is the opiate of the intellectuals.
Road Kill Cafe: You kill 'em, we grill 'em.
Romulan warbird decloaking sir... { [2Yaj NO CARRIER
Roses are red, Violet's are blue, And mine are white.
Rotisserie: a ferris wheel for chickens
Round up the usual suspects!
Rubber bands have snappy endings!
Rudolph changed his nose to 500 watts. Blew a fuse.
Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
Russian Express Card motto: Don't leave home!
S met ing's hap ening t my k ybo rd . .
S vc pd lr iss, vc pd consg u bm trbl em prgmcaeo d cmptd.
SCUD : Sure Could Use Directions
SNUGGLEBUNNIES! SNUGGLEBUNNIES! SNU--
STICK: A boomerang that doesn't work.
STUPIDITY is NOT a HANDICAP! Park elsewhere!
SWF, blonde bombshell, seeks man now.  No SYSOPs.
SYNTAX? Why not--they tax everything else!
SYSTEM ERROR: press F13 to continue...
Sacred cows make the best burgers!
Santa uses 'The Club' in New York, a vest in Florida.
Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
Sarcasm: barbed ire.
Save California; when you leave take someone with you.
Save energy: be apathetic.
Save on toilet paper...use both sides!
Save the Planet, make a lawyer disappear.
Save the whales--collect whole sets!
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes!
Save your money for a rainy day, or a new computer!
Say yer prayers, y' flea-bitten' varmint.
Scaldophobia: Fear the toilet will flush while showering.
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
Science asks why. I ask why not.
Scientists discover life causes cancer.
Scotty! Hurry! Beam me uragg^*z~% NO CARRIER
Scrut the inscrutable and eff the ineffable!
Scrute the inscrutable, eff the ineffable.
Scrute the inscrutable; eff the ineffable.
Se a linguagem "C" ja e podersissima, imaginem quando lancarem a "Z"!
See how you can be?
See you in the future..or the pasture, as the case may be
Seeing is believing, Touching is convincing..
Seeing is deceiving. It's eating that's believing.
Send $20 and I will doubble your IQ or no money back
Send lawyers, guns, & money...
Send me a dollar and I'll send 3 cents to your charity.
Send more tourists..... the last ones were delicious!
Sentient plasmoids are a gas.
Serving the scum of Paris for over 300 years
Set mode=Extremely verbose
Shareware Author Dies:  .GIF at Eleven!
Shareware author dies: .GIF at eleven!
Shareware: forget the manual...phone the author at home!
Sharks don't eat lawyers. Professional courtesy.
She poured sugar in the gastank of my heart!
She said she had nothing to wear.  I smiled.
ShelfDoze is a registered Trademark of M$.
Shell to DOS... come in DOS... Do you copy?
Shh! Be vewy quiet, I'm hunting wuntime errors!
Shin - a device for finding furniture in the dark..
Shock me, say something intelligent!
Shoot your program and put it out of its memory!
Shoplifters with the runs take Clepto Bismol
Shoplifters with the runs take Klepto Bismol
Short people are vertically challenged.
Should I or shouldn't I?... Too late, I did!
Should I weed the lawn or say it's a garden?
Should we tell the children when we move?
Shouting through a screen door can strain your voice!
Show me a sane man. I'll cure him for you.
Shut up, or I'll put Krazy Glue in your Preparation H!
Sic Transit Gloria Mundi -- Tuesday is ALWAYS worse!
Sigmund's wife wore Freudian slips.
Sign here please:_______________________Thanks
Sign in braille: DO NOT TOUCH!
Sign on Closed Nuclear Power Plant... "Gone Fission"
Sign on a clothing store - Come inside and have a fit.
Signito ergo sum - I sign therefore I am.
Silly rabbit, tricks are for hookers!
Simon says: don't be so suggestible.
Sincerity...If you can fake that, you got it made!
Sit down, you're rocking the boat!
Six million sperm, and *YOU* were the fastest???
Six of one, 110 (base 2) of another.
Skating away on the thin ice of a new day.
Sleep helps reduce the risk of exercise.
Slower Traffic Keep Right - Is that so difficult?
Slug Sautee: a hors of a different d'oeuvre.
Small changes pick up the reins from nowhere.
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Smile... people will wonder what you've been up to.
Smiley faces were meant to be annoying.
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
Smokey the Bear says, "Strip mining prevents forest fires!"
Smoking cures weight problems...eventually.
Smoking is a leading cause of statistics.
Smurf exterminator.
So many bytes, so few cps.
So many lawyers, so few bullets.
So many lawyers, so little time...
So many men, so few worth sleeping with!
So many pedestrians, so little time.
So many toys, so little time...
So much time, and so little to do.
So, you have kleptomania. Take something for it.
Socialism is the equal distribution of poverty.
Software Independent: Won't work with ANY software.
Software means never having to say you're finished
Solve the problems of the world: Vote anarchist.
Some Do, Some Don't, Some Will and Some Won't.
Some People....
Some days you're the windshield, some days the bug.
Some days you're a bug, other days a windshield.
Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant!
Some days, nothing goes left.
Some little dipstick stole all my good taglines...
Some people are so nice to be nasty to.
Some people are, through no fault of their own, sane.
Some things have got to be believed to be seen.
Someone is unenthusiastic about your work.
Something is rotten in the state of confusion.
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
Sometimes life is a cigarette and you're the only ashtray
Soon to be moderator of alt.sex.variations.bicycles.spelunkers!
Sorry about your Rectocranial Inversion.
Sorry about your Rectal-Cranial Inversion.
Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
Sorry... my mind has a few bad sectors.
Sorry...you've just been rejected by my Twit Filter.
Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (yep/Nope)
Space is an illusion, disk space doubly so.
Space is big. Really big.
Spaceman Spiff, Interplanetary Explorer!
Speaking only for myself, one of my many tricks.
Spell chequers dew knot work write.
Spice is the variety of life.
Stamp out philately!
Standing there making a sitting target of himself.
Statesman: A dead politician. We need more statesmen!
Stay Alert. Stay Awake. Stay Alive.
Steal my cash, car and TV - but leave the computer!
Sterility is hereditary.
Still sliding down the razor blade of life
Stipulation #1:  There will be no stipulations
Stop tagline theft! Copyright your tagline ⌐
Stop talking!  I'm out of aspirin!
Strike any user when ready.
Stupidity got us into this mess, why can't it get us out?
Subvert the dominant paradigm!
Success is just a matter of luck.  Ask any failure.
Success is just a matter of luck.  Ask any failure.
Suddenly, nothing happened...but it happened suddenly!
Suicidal Twin Kills Brother By Mistake.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Suicide is the sincerest form of self-criticism.
Suicide is the most sincere form of self criticism.
Sumo Wrestling: survival of the fattest.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocius
Supernovae are a Blast
Support bacteria - it's the only culture some people have!
Support doctors. Maim lawyers. At least run them over.
Support medical examiners: Die strangely.
Support mental health, or I'll KILL you!!
Support the helpless victims of computers.
Sure I can help you out!  Which way did you come in?
Sure, you can trust the government; just ask the Indians!
Surprise your boss. Get to work on time.
Swish, two, three, four! Swish, two, three, four!
Sylvester Stallone: father of the RISC concept.
System halted.  There is NOTHING you can do.
THE GOLDEN RULE: He who has the gold makes the rules
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
Tact: knowing how far to go too far.
Tact: making a point without making an enemy.
Tagline Lotto: 2222222222<- Scratch here for prize.
Tagline theft is a compliment.
Taglines \'tag-l inz \ The bumperstickers of the internet
Taglines: The bumperstickers of cyberspace.
Take a bite out of crime .. Abolish the IRS!
Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
Take no prisoners, we can't feed them.
Take two crows and caw me in the morning
Talk is cheap because Supply exceeds Demand.
Talk is cheap unless you hire a lawyer.
Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
Teamwork is essential. It gives them another target.
Teclado nao instalado!para continuar...
Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.
Thank you very little.
That ain't so good English!
That algorithm is worth its weight in gold!
That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all.
That that is is not that that is not.
That was ZEN -- this is TAO
That was Zen, this is Tao.
That'll be $67.50 CCCHHHHHIIIIINNNNGGGG!!!!
That's about as useful as a screen door in a submarine!
The Borg assimilated me & all I got was this stupid T-Shirt!
The Czech's in the mail. Sending Frenchman by FAX.
The Earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only heavier.
The French defense isn't...
The Hubbell works fine; all that stuff IS blurry!
The Lab called,..... Your brain is ready!
The Magic of Windows: Turns a 486 back into a PC/XT.
The Martians are a happy people; they have no lawyers.
The Microsoft Motto: "We're the leaders, wait for us!"
The Negative orgasm:     "Oh no, Ohh nooo, OH NOOO !"
The PARITY CHECK is in the E-MAIL...
The Tour de France!
The UARTs won't take this speed, Captain
The Universe is a big place... perhaps the biggest
The Vatican Express Card. Don't leave Rome without it.
The above opinion is worth 2 cents.
The ants are my friends; they're blowing in the wind
The argument you just won with your wife isn't over yet!
The backup's not over 'til the FAT table sings!
The ballot is stronger than the bullet.
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
The best defense against logic is stupidity.
The best defense is to stay out of range.
The best defense against logic is stupidity.
The best substitute for experience is being sixteen.
The best way to win an argument is to be right.
The best way to accelerate a Mac is at 9.8 m / sec^2
The best way to keep friends is not to give them away.
The bigger they are, the harder they hit you.
The buck doesn't even slow down here!
The cause of problems are solutions!
The check's in the mail... Trust me!
The chief cause of solutions is problems.
The class yell of the School of Experience is "Ouch!"
The cost of feathers has risen...now even DOWN is up!
The cost of feathers has risen... Now even DOWN is up!
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
The country is a mess and people keep voting for lawyers!
The cow ate blue grass and mooed Indigo...
The cream rises to the top. So does the scum...
The days of the digital watch are numbered
The dentist said my wisdom teeth were retarded.
The dreadful burden of having nothing to do.
The earth is 98% full. Please delete anyone you can.
The earth is 98% full...delete all lawyers? [Y/n]
The evidence before the court is...INCONTROVERTIBLE!
The eyes are the mirror of the soul.
The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it
The first myth of management is that it exists.
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is save all parts!
The fish that escaped is the big one.
The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.
The further I go, the behinder I get.
The future isn't what it used to be.
The game's a little bit wide open again.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
The gene pool has no lifeguard.
The girl of your dreams is unavailable except in print.
The hand that turneth the knob, opens the door.
The hangman let us down.
The hardest thing about time travel is the grammar.
The heart is wiser than the intellect...
The irony of life is that no one gets out alive...
The large print giveth and the small print taketh away.
The little engineer that could
The longer the title, the less important the job.
The man who begins many things finishes few.
The man who dies with the most toys is dead..
The margin is very marginal.
The meek shall inherit the earth, if that's OK with you
The mind is like a parachute - it works only when open.
The minute a man is convinced that he is interesting, he isn't.
The more lawyers I meet, the better I like cockroaches!
The most effective form of birth control is laughter!
The most expensive component is the one that breaks.
The moving cat sheds, and having shed, moves on...
The next thing to do is hang all the consultants.
The number you're calling from has been disconnected...
The only dumb question is one you haven't asked yet.
The only thing shorter than a weekend is a vacation.
The option to override self-destruct expir@^%i@&$#NO CARRIER
The penalty for bigamy is having two mothers-in-law.
The pendulum has gone full circle.
The polls show 8 out of 5 schizophrenics agree.
The purpose of computing is insight, not numbers.
The rich get richer; the poor get babies.
The road to success is always under construction.
The road to failure is the path of least persistence.
The score didn't really reflect the outcome.
The secret of the universe is~~*#~** FF * NO CARRIER
The shortest distance between two points is off the wall
The simple explanation always follows the complex solution
The sixth sheikh's sixth sheep's sick.
The soul would have no heart had the eyes no tears...
The superfluous is very necessary.
The taxi stopped with a jerk...
The thrill is gone, the thrill is gone baby
The trouble with reality is there's no background music.
The truth about a man often lasts longer than the man is true.
The tuna doesn't taste the same without the dolphin.
The universe is a spheroid region 705 meters in diameter...
The unnatural, that too is natural.
The way to a man's heart is through the left ventricle.
The weather is here, wish you were beautiful.
The whole world is about three drinks behind
The wise open their minds, but a fool opens his mouth.
The world is coming to an end. Please log off properly.
The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
The world will end in 5 minutes.Please log out.
The worst thing about censorship is **************************.
The young know the rules, the old know the exceptions.
Then somebody spoke, and I went into a dream....
There are 2 ways to handle women and I know neither.
There are lies, damned lies, and politics!
There are many things I could say...
There are no atheists in the foxholes.
There are no bugs, only unrecognized features.
There is a difference between flexible and limp.
There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
There is an exception to every rule, except this one.
There is much Obiwan did not tell you.
There is no dark side of the moon. Really.
There is no such thing as bravery; only degrees of fear.
There is no vaccine against stupidity.
There is no remedy for fun but more fun!
There is no finish line.
There is something to be said about me: "Wow!!"
There will be no last bus tonight.
There's a hot place with pitchforks waiting.
There's a sucker born again every minute.
There's a vacuum in outer space because the world sucks!
There's no such thing as a free lunch, but you can always find someone
There's no second chances, but there's always backspace
There's no future in time travel
There's one in every car... You'll see.
There's one in every crowd and they always find me.
There's safety in numbers/When you learn to divide.
There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
Thesaurus: ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary.
They say sex is a chocolate substitute...
They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them!
Things are not what they seem.
Things should be as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Things sometimes ARE what they seem!
Things working well, no problems.  Time to upgrade.
Think "HONK" if you're a telepath.
Think hard now! Which one is Shinola?
This Charlie Brown must have been a very wise man.
This Country Needs Group Therapy.
This ain't no party...this ain't no disco...
This building is so high, the elevator shows movies.
This copy of SKROO-U has been unregistered for 3,792 days
This door is baroque; please call Bach later.
This is a Tagline mirror ][ rorrim enilgaT a si sihT
This is abuse. Arguments are down the hall.
This is just a hobby. Perfection is not required. Fun is.
This is not a fairing, it's a force field.
This is our only tag line.
This is the day for firm decisions!  Or is it?
This is your brain.  Postscript on brain your is This.
This isn't right. This isn't even wrong.
This line intentionally left unjustified.
This login session: $13.99, but for you $11.88
This message was typed on recycled phosphorous.
This message closed captioned for the reading impaired.
This message is SHAREWARE! To Register, send $5.
This message has been UNIXized for your protection.
This mind intentionally left blank.
This program makes me look like a genius.
This score just in: OS/2, Windows 0.
This sentence is false.
This tagline is SHAREWARE!  To register, send me $10
This tagline is umop apisdn
This tagline is identical to the one you are reading.
This tagline only to be removed by the consumer.
This tagline was written before a live studio audience.
This tagline is umop apisdn
This tagline is SHAREWARE!To register, send me $10
This tagline was reclaimed and is not yet stolen.
This tagline was created from many little letters.
This tagline intentionally left blank.
This tagline does not require Micro$oft Windows.
Those who can, do. Those who can't, supervise!
Those who can't write, write manuals.
Those who can, do. Those who can't, simulate.
Those who live by the nit, die by the nit
Those with the weapons make the rules.
Those without heads do not need hats.
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
Three can keep a secret, if two are dead.
Three cheers for Outcome-Based Education: Duh! Duh! Duh!
Tilt your chair back, your breath is effecting my RAM!
Tilting at windmills hurts you more than the windmills.
Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.
Time flies like an arrow - Fruit flies like a banana
Time flies like wind.  Fruit flies like pears.
Time flies, especially when you're in a heap of trouble!
Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.
Time to spare?  Travel by air!
Tip #9: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
Tis better to have loved a short than to never have loved a tall.
Tis better to have loved and lost than just to have lost.
Tis better to be hunter than hunted.
To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.
To boldly go and watch Star Trek re-runs.
To do nothing is also a good remedy.
To eat is human, to digest, divine.
To err is human. To really screw up it takes a computer.
To err is human. To moo bovine
To err is human, to forgive is against my policy
To err is human. To moo is bovine.
To err is human. To blame someone else is politics.
To err is human; to forgive, beyond the scope of the Operating System.
To err is human, to eat Jello, is messy.
To err is human, to forgive is against company policy.
To every exception there is a rule.
To every rule there is an exception, and vice versa.
To get a loan you must prove you don't need it.
To get the point, rub a porcupine backwards.
To hell with criticism.  Praise is good enough for me.
To iterate is human, to recurse, divine.
To kill recursion, you must first kill recursion.
To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.
To live in the hearts we leave behind, is not to die.
To live well, know the difference between good and evil.
To me personally, it's nothing personal to me.
To our sweethearts and wives.  May they never meet!
To prevent contraception, always wear a condominium.
To shoot a mime, do you use a silencer?
To test a man's character, give him power.
Today ABC, tomorrow the world!!  -- Mickey Mouse
Today is Monday, cleverly disguised as Tuesday.
Today is National Existential Ennui Awareness Day.
Today is a good day to bribe a high--ranking official.
Today is a good day for you to jump in a lake.
Today is cancelled due to lack of interest!
Today is the first day of the rest of this mess.
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday!
Todays subliminal message is " "
Tolkien is hobbit-forming.
Tomorrow will be like today, only more so.
Tongue tied & twisted, just an earthbound misfit I.
Too dumb for Mensa?  Maybe you could get into Densa!
Too much is never enough.
Too much month at the end of the money.
Too much of a good thing is WONDERFUL.
Took an hour to bury the cat.  Silly thing kept moving...
Toto, I don't think we're in DOS anymore...
Touch if you must, Pay up if you bust.
Toys are made in heaven, batteries are made in hell.
Train station: where the train stops.  Work station: ??
Trees hit cars only in self-defence.
Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again!
Tried chain-smoking, but they wouldn't stay lit.
Tried to play my shoehorn... all I got was footnotes!
Trig..a..name...o...tree!!!
Troco um cerebro usado por um computador novo. Pago diferenca.
Truck Pulls: for people who cannot understand the WWF
Trust me -- I'm a Lawyer.
Truth is just another misconception.
Truthful: Dumb and illiterate.
Try to get back on topic, he said moderately.
Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo
Try? Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.
Trying to think of a good tagline...
Tubby or not tubby, fat is the question!
Turn right here. No! NO! The OTHER right!
Turning floppies into hard drives.
Twenty percent of zero is better than nothing! - Pogo
Twinkies have a half-life, but Velveeta is eternal
Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right, But Three Lefts Do.
Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
Two heads are more numerous than one.
Two most common elements: hydrogen, stupidity.
Tyre Shop sign - We Skid You Not.
UART what UEAT!
UFO's are real.  The Air Force doesn't exist.
UNNAMED LAW: If it happens, it must be possible.
US ROBOTICS? Para que!? Meu ZOLTRIX e' oti-2@4%*&^#@!4#
Uh, yeah...I MEANT to do that!
Ultimate Question Research Team
Unable to locate Coffee -- Operator Halted!
Unburdened by the rigors of coherent thought.
Unfortunately, Wife 1.0 is not upgradable
Unix and the world Unix with you; VAX and you VAX alone.
Unless you're the lead dog, the view never changes.
Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.
Unsolicited advice answers unasked questions
Until people grow up, they have no idea what's cool
Unzip, expand, explode... What pervert came up with this?
Use blood in your incantations, & you'll get hemogoblins!
Use your MasterCard to pay your Visa bill.
Users, losers -- what's the difference?
Using yesterday's technology to solve today's problems, tomorrow
VLSI: "Getting High On Low Voltage"
Vampires Against Mundane Poetry.
Variables won't; constants aren't.
Vegetarian: Indian word for "lousy hunter."
Veni Vidi Visa: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
Veni, Vidi, Vulture! (I came, I saw, I called my lawyer!)
Veni, vedi, VCR:  I came, I saw, I dubbed.
Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
Virtuoso: a musician with high moral standards
Voce acabou de perder 2 segundos lendo esta tagline
Volcano -- a mountain with hiccups.
Vote Democratic... It's easier than getting a job.
Vuja De - The Feeling You've Never Been Here
Vulcans have less fun.
Vultures only fly with carrion luggage.
W.A.R.P.: We Are Real Programmers.
WAITER! there's soup in my fly!
WARNING ... drinking tap water can kill your thirst!
WARNING: my messages are offensive to morons!
WINDOWS ERROR #004: Operator fell asleep while waiting.
WWhhaatt ddooeess dduupplleexx mmeeaann??
WYMI - the all-philosophy radio station
WYTYSYDG-What you thought you saw, you didn't get.
Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
Waiter, there's no fly in my soup! - Kermit
Walk softly and carry a megawatt laser.
Walls impede my progress
Wanna flirt with disaster? Become a SysOp!
Want a GOOD lawyer?  Go look in the cemetery!
Want a LAUGH run a spell check on DSZ docs.
Want a jelly baby?
Want a stupid answer? Ask me anything!
Want peace and quiet?  Get a phoneless cord!
Want to confuse people?  Quote from the wrong message!
Wanted: Guillotine operator...good chance to get ahead!
Wanted: Volcano. Average size. Must be active.
War News: Saddam's army blown away by Thai hookers.
War never decides who is right, only who is left.
Ward Christensen lives!  Long live CP/M!!
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Warning: Politicians can damage your wealth.
Warning: Whimsical when bored
Warranty void if tagline removed.
Was today really Necessary?
Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.
Washington D.C.: 26 square miles surrounded by reality.
Wasting time is an important part of living.
We all live in a yellow subroutine.
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
We are born crying, live complaining, die disappointed
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
We are not as schizophrenic as you think I am.
We are not a clone.
We are the people our parents warned us about
We don't care. We don't have to. We're Telecom...
We don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in our pool!
We give nothing as willingly as our advice.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
We have here the latest in primitive technology.
We have no solution, but we sure admire the problem.
We make our own fortunes and call them our fate.
We may be lost, but at least we're making good time!
We must believe in free will.  We have no choice.
We seem to have juxtaposed an impasse here
We should limit congressmen to two terms: one in Congress, one in jail.
We take drugs very seriously at my house...
We were unanimous - in fact everyone was unanimous.
We'll burn that bridge when we come to it.
We'll give you piece de resistance and a tour de force
We'll never forget Whats-his-name!
We're all sitting in the same boat: I fish, you row.
We're as similar as two dissimilar things in a pod.
We're lost, but we're making good time.
We're staying together for the sake of the cats.
Weeping, I wake; waking, I weep, I weep.
Welcome to Hell...here's your accordian!
Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage. Lettuce pray
Welcome to the Bungling Bros., Rodham and Billy Circus!
Welcome to Texas, now go home.
Well cover me in egg & flour and bake me for 14 minutes
Well, to be frank, I'd have to change my name.
Whaddya get if you cross an elephant & a rhino? Elephino!
What are the instructions doing in the trash??
What are you doing?!? The message is over,GO AWAY!
What are you looking down here for?  Read the message.
What are you doing?!? The message is over, GO AWAY!
What are you?!  Man or......<<CLICKCLICK>>
What can you do for me?
What color is a chameleon on a mirror?
What could possibly go wrong.
What do batteries run on?
What do you think?
What do you mean that 2 years have passed??
What does Santa do at a house with no chimney?
What does ignorant mean?
What does this red button do?
What else can you do at 3:00 am?
What goes around usually gets dizzy and falls over.
What goes up has probably been doused with petrol.
What good grammar you got!  What school you went?
What has four legs and an arm?  A happy pitbull!
What if Iraq's primary export were broccoli?
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
What if you get scared half to death twice?
What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
What is the Roman numeral for zero??
What is this tiny hole in the bathroom wall for?
What part of "NO" didn't you understand...?
What principles?  I'm trying to get elected!
What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?
What's Irish and stays out all night? Paddy O'Furniture.
What's a person like you doing in a nice place like this?
What's another word for 'thesaurus?'
What's black & brown & looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman
What's brown and sticky? A stick!
Whatever happened to Alexander the Mediocre?
When 911 won't work .357 will!
When I want your advice, I'll beat it out of you
When a cow laughs, does milk come up its nose?
When a girl goes bad--men go right after her.
When all else fails, read the directions.
When all else fails, spend money!
When all else fails, read the manual.
When all else is lost, the future still remains.
When all is said and done, more is said then done.
When an Agnostic dies, does he go to the Great Perhaps?
When choosing between two evils, select the newer one.
When in doubt, do as the doubters do
When in doubt, think.
When in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.
When in doubt, mumble.  When in trouble, delegate.
When talking nonsense try not to be serious.
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
When you best have time to call the very only one other
When your IQ hits 21, SELL!!
When your opponent is down, kick him.
Where am I going?  And, WHY AM I IN THIS HANDBASKET?????
Where does weight go when you lose it?
Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?
Where is Pat Paulsen when we need him?
While you're up, pour me a glass of that DHMO, willya?
Who cares how it plays in Peoria?
Who cares who's on board?
Who glued the cup to the table?
Who is "they" anyway?
Who is General Failure, and *WHY* is he reading my disk?
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my disk?
Who you callin' "argumentative", Buster?
Who's GENERAL FAILURE, and why's he reading my hard disk?
Whosoever diggeth a pit shall falleth therein.
Why DID kamikaze pilots wear helmets anyway?!
Why am I asking all these things?
Why are Chinese fortune cookies written in English?
Why are you looking down here? The joke is above!
Why are you wasting time reading taglines?
Why aren't there many Hannukah specials on tv?
Why can't women put the toilet seat back up?
Why can't women remember to put the seat back up?
Why can't we just spell it orderves?
Why did you read this?
Why do lawyers object when a witness tells the truth?
Why do people cry when they're sad?
Why do they tell us to watch "The Today Show" tomorrow?
Why do those that pay the least complain the most?
Why do we elect people and then become afraid of them?
Why do we read left to right yet turn pages right to left?
Why do you always find it in the last place you look?
Why do you think they call it "find"?
Why does DOS never say "EXCELLENT command or filename?"
Why does it matter if we all put our pants on one leg at a time?
Why does the beginning of your sentence end up in the middle of mine?
Why don't ease, lease, and please sound alike?
Why don't lawyers lay on the beach?  Cats would bury them
Why don't tomb, comb, and bomb sound alike?
Why experiment on animals when there are so many lawyers?
Why get even, when you can get odd?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why isn't "palindrome" spelled "palindromeemordnilap"?
Why look thru Windows? Open the door to the future: OS/2
Why think?  It may lead to unpleasant truths!
Why, is there one missing?
Why, may not that be the skull of a lawyer? --Hamlet.
Wife to sleeping spouse: "Wake up! Who the hell is Tina!!?"
Will Rogers never met a lawyer.
Will Rogers never met a lawyer!
Will the sound of one hand clapping still turn off my TV?
Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat
Windows Error #F99 - CPU too tired to continue...
Windows N'T: as in Wouldn't, Couldn't, and Didn't.
Windows NT: The world's only 80 megabyte Solitaire game!
Windows NT: Vapourware of the desperate and scared.
Windows NT: Only 16 megs needed to play Minesweeper!
Windows Setup, insira os disquetes na sequencia: 5,3,2,1,6,4,8,7
Windows error 000 : No errors found! [CLOSE]
Windows for Workgroups: Why crash 1 when you can crash 6?
Windows impedes progress by separating us from our tools!
Windows is the best GUI - It always sticks!
Windows is sort of like electronic herpes...
Windows is *NOT* a virus. Viruses *DO* something!
Windows is a colourful clown suit for DOS.
Windows is for fun, OS/2 is for getting things done.
Windows isn't CrippleWare -- it's "Functionally Challenged".
Windows nao e um virus, um virus faz alguma coisa...
Windows only crashes itself under OS/2. Not the whole machine.
Windows punts, OS/2 receives. Touchdown!
Windows speed tip: type DEL \WINDOWS\*.*
Windows users can legally park in handicapped zones!
Windows would look better with curtains.
Windows-Brain Dead, OS/2-for people who can chew gum and think!
Windows: Faz tudo que o DOS faz e ainda te da tempo de ler o jornal.
Windows: The answer to a question nobody has ever asked.
Windows: Training wheels for OS/2
Windows: an Unrecoverable Acquisition Error!
WindowsNT: From the makers of Doublespace
Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.
Wit is cultured insolence.
Witches ride brooms because nature abhors a vacuum.
With a calendar your days are numbered!
With friends like that, who needs enemas?
Without Time, everything would happen at once.
Without bad people there is no need for good lawyers.
Without music, life would be a mistake.
Without my ignorance, your knowledge would be meaningless
Without time, everything would happen at once!
Women and cats do what they want; men and dogs better get used to it.
Women do come with instructions; ask them.
Women get minks the same way minks get minks.
Women need a reason to have sex; men need a place.
Women prefer the simple things in life...MEN!
Women take to good hearted men. Also from.
Women were meant to be loved, not understood.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Women who wear mini-skirts sure are cheeky folk.
Women! Can't live with 'em and no resale value.
Women! Cant live with them, Cant live with them!
Women's clothes go to extremes, but seldom to extremities.
Words are not food, though sometimes we must eat them.
Words, 25¢ ea. Better quality words, 50¢ ea.
Work off excess energy. Steal something heavy
World Ends at 3pm; Film at 5 on WLKY Early News....
World ends today at 9:30 pm! Film at 11:00...
Worry : The interest paid on trouble before it's due
Worst-dressed sentient being in the known universe
Worth seeing?  Yes, but not worth going to see.
Would I ask you a rhetorical question?
Would anyone like to buy a vowel?
Would it help if I got out and pushed?
Would that reason were as contagious as emotion!
Would you like to have some pizza with that sausage?
Xerox never comes up with anything original.
Ye shall know the truth, and it shall make you freak!
Yes my son, long ago mail was read 1 packet at a time.
You CAN trust the government...ask any Indian.
You are an example of why some animals eat their young.
You are confused; but this is your normal state.
You are in a maze of twisty little programs, all alike.
You are in a maze of UUCP connections, all alike.
You are what you THINK you eat.
You buttered your bread, now lie in it.
You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories.
You can go home now, I can finish this without you.
You can name your salary here. I call mine Fred.
You can never get rid of a bad temper by losing it.
You can observe a lot just by watching.
You can pick your friends, but not your relatives.
You can send me to college, but you can't make me think.
You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.
You can turn ANY conversation into one about sex!
You can't buy beer...you can only rent it!
You can't do that. It's been digitally cursed.
You can't have everything ... Where would you put it?
You can't have everything...where would you put it?
You don't think women are explosive?  Try dropping one!
You go to heaven...God sneezes... What do you say?
You have PMS and a Handgun?  I'll go quietly.....
You have an important role as a negative example.
You have been selected for a secret mission.
You have mistaken me for someone who gives a damn
You have only a very small head and must live within it.
You have the right to remain silent....  USE IT!
You have to be sharp to be on the cutting edge.
You have two choices for dinner: Take it or Leave it.
You hit the nail right between the eyes.
You know, you never know until you really know, y'know?
You look like a million dollars.  All in loose change.
You may use this opinion for a two week trial period.
You only say it's impossible because YOU can't do it!
You used to be indecisive.  Now you're not sure.
You will be told about it tomorrow.  Go home and prepare
You will become rich and famous unless you don't.
You will be the victim of a bizarre joke.
You will never be younger then you are today..
You would if you could but you can't so you won't.
You're PC if you think a "chick" is a baby bird.
You're always seated by a crying child during long flights.
You're it.
You're never as old as you're going to get.
You're not prejudiced if you hate everybody equally!
You're not old, You're chronologically disadvantaged
You're not losing more hair, you're gaining more scalp.
You're only young once, but you can be immature forever!
You're only young once.  You're immature forever.
You've got to be trusted by the people that you lie to.
You've obviously been educated beyond your intelligence.
Young gorillas are friendly, but they soon learn.
Your E-Mail has been returned due to insufficient voltage!
Your aims are high, and you are incapable of much.
Your analyst has you confused with another patient.
Your boss is thinking about you.
Your ex just called....she's with the IRS now.
Your weapon was made by the lowest bidder!
Youth is a gift of nature. Age is a work of art.
Yuk, what kind of dumb menu system is that? Oh, so that is Windows!
Zen T-Shirt: Enlightenment Available - Enquire Within
[DISCLAIMER: my fingers are epileptic]
[If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses]
[__________________________] <-- This space for rent
a 30-second bomb..29..28..27..26..Fooled you! <BOOM>
aaawoOOoggggaaaa! ...aaawoOOoggggaaaa! ....DIVE! DIVE!!!
aibohphobia, n., The fear of palindromes.
copy *.txt > brain
ebius tagline. This is a moebius tagline. This is a mo...
hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?
if ( original_ver == OK )  don't_upgrade();
if you want someone to keep a secret, keep it yourself.
"Bad knee, gotta run" - Pat Buchanan to his draft board
'Tis better to be thought a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt
A fool and his money rarely get together to start with.
All work and no play, will make you a manager.
B.Gates : quality software :: R.McDonald : gourmet cuisine
But I forgot all about the Amnesia Conference!!
City Planners do it with their eyes shut.
Crime, Sex, Alcohol, Drugs...Boy do I love Congress
Diplomacy is the ability to let someone else have your way.
Don't rush me. I get paid by the hour.
Ever wonder why Oprah spelled backwards is Harpo?
Flaming nuclear death to Smurfs
Go shopping. Buy Stuff. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
He who hesitates is constipated.
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
I couldn't care less about apathy.
I like to leave messages *before* the beep.
I'd like to, but last time I went I never came back..
I'm not schizophrenic. It's this guy beside me!
If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.
Illiterate? Write for free help.
It works better if you plug it in.
Just do it.
Lisp programmers have to stop and collect garbage.
Money is the root of all wealth.
Never enter a battle of wits unarmed.
OS/2 - Windows with bullet-proof glass.
Pandemonium doesn't reign here... It pours!
Put people on hold when possible.
Science: preconception meeting verification.
Some minds should be cultivated, others plowed under...
That's inches away from being millimeter perfect.
The pen is mightier than the pencil.
This is only a test.
Too bad stupidity isn't painful.
WYGIWYD -What you got is what you deserved.
When their numbers dwindled from 50 to 8, the dwarfs began to suspect
Women - can't live with 'em and no resale value...
Only XT users know that January 1, 1980 was a Tuesday!